The Bandana Effect
by Ukaisha
Summary: Takuya was a closet gay when he first spotted that man, and against his better judgment, he fell for him. But a dangerous and heart-breaking road lies ahead for anyone who dares to love Minamoto Kouji, and Takuya will be lucky to escape with his life.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: The author takes absolutely no stake or claim on any characters mentioned.  
Warning: Indecent language, and graphic, explicit sex in later chapters. I'm unsure of how long this will play out. The first and second chapters are clean.  
A/N: Due to a careless Google-trip on "Bandanas." I swear to god, Kouji's creator did this intentionally. I wonder how much fun I can have with this before getting bored.  
Please remember: Every time I see a review for a story, it's like a smack in the face that says, hey, get working on this. I really appreciate all types of feedback, particularly when detailed.

The Bandana Effect

Takuya had been debating with himself whether or not to approach Him for an hour now, ever since they'd walked in. He was with another guy, but they looked so alike that they _had_ to be twins, and he could be quite confident in assuming they weren't together. Still, if this guy had an attitude, He had a companion to back Him up, and Takuya didn't particularly feel like getting burned by this guy. Especially with so many people to hear him get burned when he wasn't even _out _yet.  
They were sitting at the bar, which, compared to the rest of the restaurant, was very empty. Who Takuya believed to be His brother wasn't drinking, but He had been nursing koshu for the entire hour Takuya been watching them talk. Just talk. Casually chatting for an hour, perfectly comfortable, ignorant to the rest of the world. Which was why Takuya doubted himself; if the guy really was looking for someone, would He not be alert to other people who were mindful of the bandana?  
He was probably twenty-one, maybe twenty-two, but definitely around his age. He looked several years younger, sixteen or seventeen, but thanks to the fact He was drinking alcohol, Takuya could immediately see through the age illusion. He dressed young, too, like He was still a rebellious teenager at heart, no matter how old He got. He'd looked so feminine that Takuya had done a quadruple-take to make sure it was really a guy, and not either a masculine woman, or a transvestite. His hair was so long and silky, and His skin was so pale and soft, and His eyes were so deep and blue, and so many other adjectives Takuya couldn't come up with to describe Him. He was like an angel, a dark-haired blue-eyed angel straight from Heaven to tempt him. But He had a very serious face, even when the two broke into chuckles, and the way He acted, He thought He was the only person in the world. There was powerful intellect and knowing behind those eyes. And then, there was the bandana.  
Being an in-the-closet gay, Takuya had more than a few problems finding boys with which to have a relationship. A friend, Daisuke, had turned him on to finding hidden signs gay men wore like flags to alert others searching, but were conspicuously invisible to heterosexuals. His main point had been to look for the bandanas, and to wear one specifying which type of man he wanted. Embarrassed and feeling as though the bandana method was too obvious, Takuya refused to wear one, but having memorized a few of the "Colour Codes," he noticed every gay man who did have one in his pocket. None of them were his type. This one, though...He was hard not to notice, regardless or not whether He had a bandana. Finding it in His pocket had just been a huge surprise; a guy that good-looking had probably been accosted by girls every day back in high school, and had probably gotten confessions once or twice a week.  
His bandana was navy. Takuya knew right off the bat what that meant, because it was one of the colours Daisuke had insisted he wear. Navy stood for anal sex. A very generic colour, it was nothing too weird or off the beaten path like other colours, and it would just be good in finding a nice, normal partner. But His bandana was striped with another colour, though with the lighting, he couldn't tell whether it was Goldenrod or Beige. Takuya knew those colours too. While Beige stood for an action he was uncomfortable with, Goldenrod was the other colour Daisuke insisted he wear, though he'd also said that Mustard was the appropriate term for it, which opened a wider range of acceptable colours. Beige would mean he was interested in salad tossing, and Goldenrod/Mustard referred to penis size. Daisuke had offered Takuya wear a Mustard/Goldenrod bandana because every man in the world automatically added two inches to his penis length strictly for egotistical reasons, and it never hurt to try and score a big one. Of course, this just made him more embarrassed. The rest of the detail depended on what pocket it was in. It was the right pocket, he was uke. If it was the left pocket, he was seme. Concerning the Goldenrod stripes, if it was in the right pocket, he was an uke looking for a top with a large penis. If it was worn in the left pocket, he was a seme who possessed one.  
His was worn in the left.  
The guy sure didn't look like a pitcher, and especially not one with an enormous package; that's for sure. Of course, this was only adding to Takuya's uncertainty.  
The stripes could also be "Gold," for all he knew. That meant He was looking for a threesome. Since it was in the left pocket, it meant He had Himself and another person, (possibly Brother?) and was looking for the third. It was entirely possible, and that would explain perfectly why they were just hanging out, not doing anything but existing. Were they waiting for someone to notice the bandana?  
His waitress came by for what seemed like the hundredth time. Each time she came, Takuya got more annoyed because she interrupted his staring at Him, and every time she came, she got more annoyed because he wasn't leaving. Even though he'd already paid, he was just sitting there, taking up space. He obviously wasn't planning on ordering anything else, although he'd long ago finished his food and had been "sipping" at his soda for the entire hour. He'd yet to lower it half-way. As she left again and he resumed staring at Him, he realized His brother was standing up. They exchanged a few words, and Brother left. He turned around, staring boredly into the crowd. He was not looking at anyone in particular, but Takuya felt like His eyes were completely on him, and he wished he'd taken Daisuke's advice and had just worn a stupid bandana. If this guy was really using the Code, He'd notice him off the bat, and if Takuya was wrong, He'd ignore him. He turned around again, and His bandana fluttered behind Him. He sighed audibly. Takuya, now totally locked into the bandana concept, was sure that action had been a sweep of the room to see if anyone else possessed a bandana. After all, a bandana wasn't a popular thing to carry around in your pocket. That's why it was such a sure-fire way of finding other gay men; it was an unusual thing you would notice immediately. He cursed himself for not having one.

He finished His koshu, and He didn't order anymore. He'd been "sipping" a pretty generous amount, but He definitely wasn't drunk. Either that, or He just held His sake very well. Takuya started getting anxious. They were clearly getting ready to leave. He had two options: he could let them leave and possibly never see this guy again, or he could take his chances and hope the bandana was the signal he thought it was.  
As much as he didn't want to be embarrassed being told he was wrong, he just didn't want to lose this guy. He was mesmerizing. If Takuya didn't act now, and he never saw Him again, Takuya would forever look back and think: "Man; that guy was unbelievable, and I let Him get away, without even trying to talk to Him."  
A few seconds of embarrassment was definitely worth it. If he was wrong, He'd just tell him so, he'd apologize, and he'd be on his way.  
He hesitantly got out of his booth. No one looked up or thought his movement was strange, and He didn't notice him. Now that he was standing up, the lighting changed, and the stripes looked different. Takuya still personally saw them as a dark "Mustard" colour, so, Navy and Mustard? Takuya cautiously approached Him, trying to come up with something to say. How exactly do you bring someone into conversation about that?  
Oh hey, I just happened to notice that you're gay, you like anal, and you have a big dick; want to go out?  
Somehow that didn't seem like it would work.  
He wondered if this guy was the type who wasn't interested in partners or lovers, just a good fuck. If he was right and this bandana was a signal, he hoped He was looking for a partner. Takuya had never had a solid boyfriend; he'd never really been able to get himself comfortable enough to ask a guy out, and since he was still in the closet, no one ever asked him out. But He...He prompted action.  
Hey, I just happened to notice that you look like you've probably been a popular sex object since high school, and I've never dated anyone in my life, but we both happen to be gay, so wanna see if it works out?  
He should just walk away now; very quickly, very quietly. Too late, he was already right behind Him. Damn his feet. Even though Takuya just stood there, quietly doing nothing, He got the feeling someone was behind Him, and He glanced over His shoulder. Accessing him, He didn't perceive him as anything interesting, and He looked away. Takuya sat down next to Him.  
"Hey there," he said, and felt him hitting himself for opening the conversation with something so lame.  
He nodded a curt greeting, and looked towards the bathrooms. Brother hadn't been gone for more than a minute, but He was already getting antsy. Then again, it could've just been Takuya's sudden intrusion into His "Only I exist" world. Takuya's confidence fell; this guy was way too uninterested in the guys around Him. If He were apart of this "Bandana Colour Game", wouldn't He be interested in men who suddenly popped over and started talking to Him? If that had happened to Takuya, he'd immediately assume the bandana had something to do with it.  
He ignored him, pretending as though he wasn't there completely.  
"I'm sorry to bother you," Takuya finally rushed out, "But I couldn't help but notice your bandana-" he left it hanging. If He had no idea what he was talking about, He'd act confused, for sure, and that would be Takuya's hint to get out of there. But He didn't. He furrowed His brow a moment, thinking, and while at first He decided to further ignore him, curiousity got the best of Him.  
"You know," He said, and Takuya's breath caught. He had a wonderfully sexy voice that sent tingles all the way down to his toes. "I've heard some pretty lame pick-ups in my day, but, that was just utterly lame." Takuya went red with embarrassment. "Most people comment on my hair first, so I give you credit for taking a stab at something unorthodox."  
Takuya uselessly muttered a thank-you, unsure whether he should leave or not. The way He'd worded it, He hadn't really tipped the scale either way. He could think Takuya was just some lame guy who randomly decided to come up to Him like so many other people probably had, or He could just be teasing him and pretending He was ignorant of the bandana to see how far he'd go to get what he wanted.  
Well, fine. If he wanted to play it that way, he would.

Takuya had heard his friends use a lot of equally lame pick-up lines for this type of situation, but most of them involved women-specific puns, and most of them WERE lame, so he refrained from trying to come up with something clever to say and went for the obvious. "Can I have your name?"  
He looked to the bathroom again, looking for Brother, then looked back at Takuya. "Why do you want it?"  
Takuya was, by this time, positive the bandana meant what he thought he meant. If He needed it to be spelled out for Him, fine. Maybe He was also cautious and didn't want to jump to conclusions. "Because of your bandana."  
He raised a brow, and did not respond. Takuya's stomach fell.  
"I just...I wanted to see if...and the bandana-"  
"I'm not sure what your obsession with my bandana is," He said, and Takuya's stomach took a plunge. "But, I just want you to know in case this is heading in that direction. I'm not gay." Takuya felt like his stomach fell through his body, down his leg, and promptly dispersed all over the floor.  
"Oh." He felt really stupid. "Are you sure?"_ 'Brilliant, Takuya,' _he thought.  
"Very," He scoffed.  
"But, your bandana, it's navy," he insisted, begging for this to be a cruel joke played by a sadistic top and His bandana really did mean what he thought it did.  
"Yes, it is." Now, He was getting annoyed. "Do you have a problem with bandanas or something?"  
"No..."  
"Or like a bandana fetish?"  
"I thought...you were gay, because it was in your pocket."  
He tilted His head with a total disbelieving look on His face, like that sounded completely absurd to Him. The longer Takuya stood there, the more it WAS absurd. "Wha?" Takuya wanted to run and crawl under a rock in his comfy little closet, but he felt like being a sport and telling this guy the truth, if only so He wouldn't get accosted in the future. God knows, He might have multiple bandanas. If He had a blue and mustard striped one, He could have any colour. Man, if he had an orange and black one, and if He accidentally put such a bandana in the wrong pocket, He'd be very unlucky indeed. "Navy. It means you're interested in anal, and the stripes, they're Goldenrod."  
Curiously, He took His bandana out of His pocket, and eyed it. "Goldenrod?"  
"It means...large...penis..." Takuya muttered, and at the look on His face, he felt like loser spectacular. He'd kill Daisuke when he ran into him again.

"Kouji?" Both of them turned to look at Brother. Takuya felt chills when he said the name; Kouji. It was a cute name, and on Him, it was a sexy name. Kouji. Kouji. He repeated it in his mind over and over again. He felt dizzy just thinking about the name combined with the face to make the person.  
"We're leaving," Kouji announced, and turned away from Takuya. Brother peered over his shoulder, curious.  
"Who's your friend?"  
"No one," he said curtly, and he began marching away. Then, on second thought, he came right back in Takuya's face, glaring at him.  
"I'm...I'm sorry for-" Takuya started, but Kouji cut him off.  
"I take my bandana off to eat and drink. That's what I was taught; you do not wear head gear at a table. How DARE you insist that makes me gay."  
"I wasn't!" Takuya hastened to explain, "I just thought that-"  
"You should NOT walk up to random people and try to hit on them. I get so sick of it and I wish you people would just stay the hell away from me. None of us appreciate it at all, and you'd have better luck paying someone to get in bed with you rather than try to score some ass off a bar." People were staring now. Brother was putting a hand on Kouji's shoulder and trying to lead him away. "And for the record," he shot over his shoulder as Brother started _pulling _him away, "Gay or not, you have no way with words. I wanted to smack you after the first thing you said to me. Screw you, fag." Takuya tried to force himself to shrink so that he wouldn't be the aim of everyone's eyes. They were all staring at him, whispering to each other, wondering what was going on. This was very likely the most embarrassing thing that had ever happened to him. But as Kouji slipped out of sight, he suddenly didn't care. It didn't matter to Takuya in the slightest if they stared and stared and called him a "faggot" and laughed at him; all he wanted to do was follow Kouji. There was no way he could lose him. Takuya threw a few yen on his table for his obnoxious waitress, and ran after him. When he caught up to them, he inwardly cheered and he was sure his whole face was glowing... until he realized it would be totally useless approaching him, and he switched to swearing at himself. He should be trying to get his mind to wrap around the fact this incredible man was not gay and it was useless chasing him, but he refused to leave him alone.  
They apparently hadn't driven here; they didn't get in a car. They simply tried to disappear into the crowd, and Takuya had one hell of a hard time following them through the mass of people. It was a struggle to keep up with them and to maintain a safe distance. He couldn't hear a thing, though Kouji was speaking vehemently to Brother, and Brother was trying to calm him down. Kouji had replaced the bandana on his head. He looked sexy as hell in it.  
Kouji wanted to keep trudging along the streets and complaining, but Brother, apparently the pacifist of the two, offered that they take a walk through a park. Sightsee, relax, smell the flowers, and definitely, most of all, calm down. Kouji begrudgingly agreed, and Takuya finally managed to get within listening distance of them. He tried to blend in with the scenery, and luckily, Kouji didn't sense him this time. It was peaceful and quiet, like they were just taking an afternoon stroll through the park, until Kouji started ranting again. Brother patiently agreed with everything he said, and Takuya felt worse and worse as he kept going on.

"It's just...Goddamn, the NERVE of That Guy," Kouji said angrily.  
"Flowers, Kouji," Brother said gently. "Never swear in the presence of flowers. They'll grow depressed and unable to share their beauty."  
"You're more gay than I am!" he spat back hotly, and Brother took absolutely no offense. "But isn't that stupid...a bandana in a pocket..." Takuya made a reminder to punch Daisuke the next time he saw him.  
"It's not that strange," Brother offered. "I've heard of it before. Apparently a lot of things in your back pocket can symbolize something sexual. Maybe you just need to stop putting things in your back pocket."  
Kouji glared at him. "Was this on purpose?"  
"Hmm?"  
"You're the one who gave me the bandana, and you knew that I throw things in my back pocket. Was this your way of pulling a prank on me?"  
"Kouji, think about who you're talking to."  
Kouji was quiet for a second, then reluctantly, "Fine."  
"Good."  
"But seriously...That Guy...just walking up like he did."  
"Oh? Who started overreacting?"  
"That Guy!" Kouji insisted, and Brother shook his head.  
"It sounded like Ototou-chan was the one who started freaking out."  
"It was just the NERVE of That Guy," he said again, close to bursting with anger. He punched one fist into the palm of his opposite hand, and Brother sighed.  
"Frankly, Kouji, if anyone came up to me and said I had a large penis, I'd be disturbed, but flattered."  
"Frankly, Kouichi," he mocked, "You've never had completely random people come up to you and grope you in the ass. Three times in one day."  
"Ah. No, I haven't," said, apparently Kouichi, with pity. "Has that happened before?"  
"You know damn well it has. And THAT GUY and the BALLS he had..."  
"Well, you never told me That Guy groped you."  
"...He didn't," Kouji muttered, and Kouichi clicked his tongue.  
"Did he start saying obscene things to you, cheesy sexual-puns to try and get you into bed, reach down and start grabbing at his crotch or thrust his pelvis at you?"  
Kouji shrugged, like it was no big deal. "None of the above."  
"Well, then, based on what you've told me, That Guy was downright polite."  
"Shut up, you weren't even there. That Guy was a dick."  
"Shouldn't be rude in the presence of flowers, or they'll bloom late to spite you."  
"Damn your flowers."  
Kouichi tsked. "Me thinks Ototou-chan had too much to drink."  
"You know I don't get drunk."  
"No, but you get hot under the collar, which is just as bad or worse than being drunk."

Kouji suddenly paused, and looked over his shoulder. Takuya froze and tried to get his feet to run, but something told him to stay put, and he did. Somehow, Kouji's eyes went right over him, and he resumed walking with his brother. Takuya breathed a sigh of relief; if he'd run, it would've drawn attention to himself, he realized. And what would Kouji say if he found out he was stalking him?  
"So, what are you saying?" Kouji resumed, purposely instigating another argument.  
"That Kouji-chan underestimated how much he was drinking, is in 'I am drunk and angry mode,' and overreacted."  
"Do not call me Kouji-chan. Ever."  
"That Poor Guy probably spent forever egging himself on to just talk to you, and you had to cause a scene."  
"That Guy probably ran over the second he saw me. The words running through his mind were likely 'Sex' and 'Ass', and 'Sex with Ass'. "  
"I doubt it. You're very intimidating, Kouji. I know you think you're just the sexiest thing in the world-"  
"I don't think that, but everyone else with hormones does."  
"-but most people are too shy to even talk to you."  
"Tell that to Guy-Who-Groped-Me-At-Train-Station-This-Morning."  
Kouichi sighed. Takuya suddenly got the itching feeling he should move, and he ducked behind a park bench. Kouji glanced over his shoulder again, didn't think to look down, and accepted there was no one behind him.  
"Why do you keep looking behind us?" Kouichi asked.  
"Oh, I just get that feeling, you know, like I'm being followed."  
"Sexy-Kouji-chan has a fanclub stalking him everywhere he goes," Kouichi chuckled, and as Kouji started protesting, Kouichi looked over his shoulder. Takuya had the misfortune to have stood up at that exact moment, and Kouichi caught his eye. He ducked again, and Kouichi raised a brow. He opened his mouth to say something. Frantic, Takuya repeatedly slit across his neck with his hand and mouthed "Please," praying Kouichi would just keep moving. Before Kouji had a chance to notice his brother was staring, Kouichi looked forward and walked normally. He did not mention Takuya.  
"-and for all I know, there's some creepy rapist stalking me who knows where I live and what I do everyday. With my luck, there probably is. So I hope you feel really bad when you find out that I've been raped, murdered, and thrown in a dumpster by some deranged stalker."  
"Mhmm, if there's anyone stalking you, I doubt he's something that dramatic, much like your little brawl."

Takuya followed them for twenty minutes. He thought it was an obscenely long amount of time spent walking around doing nothing, and if it weren't Kouji he was following, he would've gotten very bored. They, however, seemed quite accustomed to long walks while doing nothing, and were familiar with the area. Every so often, Kouji looked over his shoulder, but Kouichi somehow knew in advance when he was going to do it, and he gave Takuya signals so he had time to hide. Takuya got to thinking that maybe Kouji didn't really sense his presence; he was just very paranoid and looked over his shoulder out of habit.  
They'd been standing at a koi pond for several minutes when Kouji finally said, "Let's get going." He offered no explanation for wanting to leave.  
Kouichi nodded, then held up a finger, asking for one minute. He'd been sketching the koi in a pocket-sized notebook, and he was attempting to shade them, though he seemed to be having great difficulty in doing so. He finally sighed and ripped out the drawing. "It's so difficult drawing something when it's underwater. It screws up the perspective and lighting."  
Kouji shrugged, caring minimally, and Kouichi carelessly crumbled the paper and threw it over his shoulder. They began walking away again, and before following, Takuya paused. Feeling like Kouichi wanted him to, he picked up the paper, but was too occupied to really take a look at it. He was about to continue towards them when Kouichi tensed his right hand and spread his fingers wide, and Takuya got the gist that he was to stay put. He didn't want to, for sure, but Kouichi was the only thing that kept his cover from Kouji, and if he disobeyed, Kouichi might turn on him and report him. His heart ached as he watched them walk away. Kouichi looked over his shoulder, nodded, seemed satisfied, and kept walking on, forgetting he was even there. There went Kouji. God knew if he'd ever see him again. Despite never having really gotten to know him and despite having been yelled at, and despite the fact Kouji was not gay, he felt his throat constrict and his eyes grow hot. He wanted to cry; having Kouji leave him, probably forever, was just intolerable.  
He leaned over the stone wall for a few minutes, watching the koi delicately swimming along, and thinking about Kouji. Perhaps he could wait in the restaurant again until they eventually returned, but that could take weeks or months, and he couldn't sit in a restaurant for hours on end on the off chance they might come back. They might not even ever come back at all. But he didn't know anything else about them; except that they were familiar with this park, which told him nothing. Just because they knew it didn't make it likely they came here often, and if they did, there were so many paths through it that it would be impossible for Takuya to even think about ambushing them. He struggled to hold back his tears; maybe Kouji was just gone forever.  
A koi splashed in the water. He'd been holding his hands over the edge, and he felt something in them get wet. Takuya was suddenly reminded of Kouichi's paper, and he took his hand back. He tilted his head, looking from the paper to a tiny wastebasket right next to his feet. Why would Kouichi throw it on the ground, not in the basket? If he was so sensitive to flowers, certainly he wouldn't litter on purpose. Takuya looked in the direction they'd left, and then unsmoothed the paper. The fish were beautiful, despite Kouichi's personal critique of them. There were only two of them; one was black with white spots, one was white with black spots. As Takuya admired them, he looked closer, and he noticed they were in a Yin-Yang formation. That was cool; how clever. Then, looking into the fish, he found that what he thought had been scales weren't scales at all. They were addresses. One on the black fish, one on the white fish.  
Kouichi had just given him a way to contact Kouji.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: The author takes absolutely no stake or claim on any characters mentioned.  
Disclaimer2: This story should only be hosted on mediaminer under the name Puppeh, fanfiction dot net under the name Ukaisha, and Digi Artist's Domain under the name Uki. If found anywhere else under any other name, please contact me immediately at Sazreazhyu at AOL dot com; it has likely be stolen.

This chapter is clean, but sex will likely be prominent in future chapters. There is mild language.  
A/N: Well, a positive reception for this story. That's good; I wasn't sure if anyone was going to buy into this or not.  
Looking for the nasty? A smidge of it coming up in the third chapter. Otherwise, this is bridging the plot.  
Thank you very much for reading. Please remember to leave feedback, whether by private message or public review, and whether or not it is positive or negative D  
Enjoy.

The Bandana Effect

Takuya soon realized that his search would prove more difficult than he'd originally hoped, and possibly completely fruitless. There were two fish and two addresses, one on each koi. It occurred to Takuya that even if they were brothers, brothers of their age didn't necessarily live together. He assumed that this meant one address was Kouichi's, and one was Kouji's.  
But whose was whose?  
He kept turning the paper over, hoping Kouichi had left him some other kind of hint or riddle as to the identities of the koi, but there was nothing. Kouichi expected him to take a long shot and choose at random. What a trickster.  
Should he even follow the addresses now? Kouji had said, "Let's go," but that didn't necessarily mean he wanted to go home. He might've meant that he wanted to just leave the park. What would he do walking up to an empty house, and not even knowing whose it was?  
At a loss for options, he followed down the last path he saw the twins take, hoping he'd maybe spot them still walking. They were no where to be found. Takuya made many turns and went through many paths until he eventually decided they either must've left, or had a unique ability for avoiding him.  
He had a long trek back to the restaurant ahead of him, and he figured he'd better get going. It was getting dark, and despite the low crime rate and serene park, he didn't want to be in it during the night. For a split second he could've sworn he saw Kouji out of the corner of his eye, but when he turned to look, it was a stranger. His heart felt sick at being let down. Why was he so attached to Kouji? He wasn't even interested in guys, and he was a bit of a jerk. There was no reason to be staking so much importance on him, but he couldn't help himself. Even if Kouji rejected him again, he wanted to see him. He NEEDED to see him.

When he reached his car, it had become too dark to study the koi. Takuya was positive there was some kind of hidden clue to finding Kouji, and that Kouichi expected him to find it as some kind of test to see if he was worthy. But after sitting in his car and analyzing the drawing by its dull light, there was nothing to be found.  
The addresses themselves seemed to be the only strange thing about the koi. They appeared to be modeled after Bekko Koi, though the black one was unique because Bekko tended to be mostly white or cream with just a few black spots, and the black one was the exact opposite. Koi weren't usually so dark. Takuya decided that was the hint; the black koi. It was unique and special, like Kouji. It was out of the ordinary and it was intriguing because the koi, usually such bright and colorful fish, was black and mysterious instead. The white koi, with a few black spots, was much more simple and common than the black one. Kouichi had seemed to be a very simple guy, pleased by the small stuff, but Kouji was a creature of many layers. Mysterious and dark. It was strange Takuya could describe Kouji as though he'd known him his whole life, and what was stranger was that he was positive he wasn't just shooting adjectives off the top of his head. What he was describing of Kouji was fact.  
The moon was edging into the sky. Takuya wondered if it was too late to attempt to find Kouji, and what's more, he wondered what he'd even say.  
Oh, hey, you yelled at me and stripped me of my manhood in that restaurant a few hours ago. I stalked you for a while after that and your brother gave me your address. Kind of weird, huh?  
Yeah. That wouldn't work.  
I just so happened to figure out where you live and I came to tell you that I think I really like you, despite the fact that you yelled at me and pretty much just made me feel like a piece of crap.  
Kouji was right; he had no way with words.  
Still. He couldn't go home. Kouji's prodding in his mind refused to stop. He had to go see him again, to talk to him, to learn everything about him, to convince him to give him a chance. Because he loved him.  
Takuya tried to hide his face, like someone was watching him and he didn't want them to see his blush. How could he love Kouji? He'd known him for a few hours, and the Kouji he'd known was a royal jerk, both to him and his own brother. The Kouji he loved was the one he'd fantasized about while wishing he could be with him. The Kouji he loved was just a sexy guy across the room he knew was untouchable, which was why he wanted him. He knew Kouji was out of his league, let alone out of his gender preference.  
This made him all the more determined to find him. He had nothing better to do, anyway. He'd spend all night thinking of Kouji, and at least if he met Kouji again and was rejected by him a second time, then his mind might finally start accepting that it was futile.  
He looked at the koi again, and suddenly noticed another difference about them. The black one was smiling, and the white one was frowning. That must've been another subtle hint! The black one was smiling because it was the right fish. The white one was frowning because it was the wrong fish. Maybe Kouichi had helped him more than he had first thought.  
Takuya was familiar with the street. It was in a fairly poor region of the city, which Takuya didn't think was at all strange. If Kouji was like him, and in college, he obviously wouldn't live in a huge house, especially considering how young he was. It only took him a few minutes to get there, but every passing minute was like an hour, and the hours dragged on and on as he drove until he finally came to the address.

It actually wasn't a house he arrived at. It was an apartment complex.  
This also did not strike Takuya as strange. Apartments were a lot cheaper to rent than houses, and he himself lived in one.  
For every minute that had taken an hour driving there, every minute was a second as he sat there, unable to get himself to get out of the car. He was trying to get up his nerve, like he had at the restaurant. Even being prepared for the fact that Kouji might go off on him didn't make it any better, and he was reluctant to walk straight into a situation he knew could get very nasty very quickly. For starters, he'd had no reason to follow Kouji. For another, there was no valid reason he could think of as to how he got his address. With his luck, Kouji would slap a lawsuit on him and call him a "sicko stalker." And better still, he had no reason to believe there was a chance in hell that Kouji would even possibly consider a weird guy who was, in fact, proving to be a stalker, a suitable friend, let alone boyfriend.  
Twenty minutes had passed in the blink of an eye. He thought he'd been sitting there no longer than five minutes. It was getting late; it was do or die.  
Takuya stepped out of his car. His legs were shaking and he had to keep himself steady by leaning pathetically on the door. Kouji was making him nervous as hell, and he hadn't even seen him yet. He really was lovesick. He worked up his nerve for a few minutes, closed his door, and attempted to proceed confidently to the number provided on the black fish. He walked very slowly, very deliberately pausing at each and every door to double and triple check the numbers just in case they magically changed on him. Kouji was in number 122. 120.  
Takuya stared at the door for three minutes, making sure it wasn't the right one.  
121.  
He checked the koi again. This was definitely the right address, and Kouji's number was definitely 122. Wait, that wasn't a one, was it? No, it was definitely a two. Absolutely. No doubt about it.  
He skipped to 123, checking it just in case there was a flashing neon sign on the door that read, "Actually, Kouji lives HERE, not next to me."  
Takuya cursed himself for being such a coward. He returned to 122-  
Then overshot it and returned to 121. He checked the koi again.  
He was such a loser.  
He returned to the correct door. It was like the entrance to Hell, and the only way to reach Kouji was by stepping beyond it. What would he say when he came out? Would he be surprised? Pissed off? Confused? Would he hear him out? Too ashamed to move at all, he stood frozen mere inches away from the door for at least five more minutes, occasionally staring back down at the koi again. As if taunting him, the black one's fin seemed to be a pointing arrow at the door. Go and enter it, Takuya! Kouji's in there! You know you want him!

Takuya was about to run back to his car and forget the whole thing when of its own accord, his arm suddenly reached out and rang the doorbell. The second he heard it sound, he became frantic. Why did he just do that?! He didn't have to tell Kouji he was here! He could've just left and everything would've been fine! Oh no oh no, now he had to wait for Kouji to answer the door. He heard footsteps. Should he just run away? Would Kouji see him running down the hall? He'd probably be pissed off someone had played a joke on him if he got away in time. Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no. His heart was exploding out of his chest. As the door finally opened, he was totally at a loss for words, unable to think of absolutely anything in the world to say, so when he finally saw that face, he just bowed low, clenched his eyes shut and gasped, "I love you!"  
Kouji was quiet. He said nothing. Takuya was tense, gripping the paper hard and expecting any moment to either be shouted out of the complex or to be hit repeatedly, when absurdly, he heard a gentle voice. "Sweet, but: Wrong."  
Takuya opened his eyes. He hesitantly let himself look up, and at first he thought he was mistaken; that was Kouji. But, then, no, it wasn't. There was no long and sexy pony-tail. His face was soft; Kouji's was like a predator. His eyes weren't the same; they were gentle, not hard and unforgiving. Takuya was stricken by an overwhelming "Duh" moment: this was Kouichi's address.  
"You..."  
"Me," Kouichi confirmed. "I see you picked the wrong one." Thus, Kouichi's proclamation of "Wrong."  
"But...the koi..." Takuya tried, as if by insisting he was not wrong, he wouldn't be.  
"My mistake, I guess. I thought about the colour scheme being a really bad clue after I'd already given it to you. Kouji's colour is white, and I'm black. They're kind of our signature colours. But, of course, you wouldn't know that."  
"...Yeah." The longer he stood there, the stupider Takuya felt. He felt wiped out and exhausted; just getting to the door had taken more effort than running a ten-mile marathon, and it hadn't even been the right one. Stupid, stupid Takuya.  
"I was kind of hoping you'd notice the fish were smiling?"  
"I did." Takuya was miserable. He looked at the address on the white fish. He was unfamiliar with the street. Even if he left right now, he'd spend quite some time looking for it, and by then it would be way too late to come knocking on the door. Normal people don't knock on your door and confess love to you at ten or eleven o'clock at night.  
"Oh. Well, I thought that might've helped. You followed us, right? I figured you'd noticed enough to see I'm a generally cheerful person, and Kouji's usually pretty...not. Thus why my fish is smiling, and his is frowning, plus has an angry eyebrow."  
It seemed so obvious now that he mentioned it, though he hadn't seen the angry eyebrow. He thought it had been a part of the shading. "I thought the black one was smiling because it was the right one, and the other one was frowning because it was the wrong one."  
Kouichi scoffed at himself. "Why didn't I think of that? Oh, well, I'm not very good at riddles."  
Takuya let out a gush of air and practically keeled over. This was Kouichi's address. Not Kouji's. An immense load had just been lifted from him.  
Kouichi looked at him sympathetically, "And I guess it's good you chose the wrong one. If you'd shown up on Kouji's doorstep like that, he'd probably have kicked you all the way back to that restaurant." He stepped aside and motioned inwards. "Would you like to come in?"  
"No thank you," Takuya started, and then stopped; something seemed odd to him. "Hey, wait a minute. Why are you helping me at all?"  
"Hmm?"  
"You...you're giving me addresses, you're giving me advice, you're trying to get me to see Kouji. Why?"  
Kouichi shrugged. "You seem like a pretty decent guy."  
"That's it?"  
"That's it. The other nuts that've followed my brother were, well, nuts. You at least appear to be sane, you are not sex obsessed, you are not attempting to rape him, and you seem pretty motivated in just getting to meet him, just meet him, and with nothing else expected."  
"You do realize I approached him at all because I thought his bandana was a sex symbol, right?"  
"At least you were human about it, or something." Kouichi scratched his head, perhaps trying to come up with a good excuse for his behavior himself. "Kouji felt the need to exaggerate his experience with you, which automatically tells me that you actually bothered him on such a tiny scale that it wasn't understandably disturbing enough to piss someone off, and he needed to rationalize his reactions. He senselessly ranted about you, which he NEVER does. This also tells me that you might have actually been a little honest about your interest in him, because Kouji felt the need to force HIMSELF to believe that you were just some jerk."  
"Doesn't take much to satisfy you, does it?"  
"Kouji's usual suitors are better suited to being pimps in a brothel, thus his overreaction to you. I apologize for him. Are you sure you wouldn't like to come in? It's chilly."  
Takuya sighed. It was too late to go searching for Kouji now, and what better way to get to know him without having a heart attack than having his own brother talk about him? If he actually tried to go to Kouji tonight after all that stress, he would drop dead from a stroke at his first word, good or bad. Plus, he had nothing better to do. It was a win-win situation. He agreed, and Kouichi allowed him in. There was very little furnishing inside; clearly, it was the home of someone who had very little money, and made the best of what he had.

"By the way," Kouichi began again as Takuya sat down on one of only two chairs at his tiny table, "I'm Kouichi."  
"I know," said Takuya, and Kouichi looked at him strangely, questionably. "I followed you guys, remember? Kouji used your name once or twice."  
"Ah," he said, and nodded his head. "Yet I give you our addresses, lead you here, invite you in, and am playing match-maker to you and my brother despite the fact I don't even know your name, age, occupation, education, social status, living status, and/or any family matters I should know about."  
It was Takuya's turn to look at him questionably.  
"After you get so many nuts trying to molest your brother, you want to know everything about the ones who want to try their hand at him," he explained. He seemed completely serious, fully expecting to get all of the previous answered.  
"I saw this in a movie once. Isn't this usually the situation between a boy who's dating a girl for the first time and meeting her father for the first time, and he gets like two minutes alone with him and wants to know his life story?"  
"Precisely."  
Out of habit, Takuya looked down at the koi drawing again, and Kouichi reached out his hand for it. "I'm sorry to ask for it back, but, I'm really uncomfortable showing people my art. I'll rewrite the address for you."  
Takuya withdrew it into his lap. "Can't I please keep it? I really like it."  
Kouichi mumbled reluctantly.  
"I'm Takuya," he introduced, and Kouichi nodded at the name. "I'm twenty-one."  
"As are Kouji and I."  
"I'm...unemployed, I guess."  
Kouichi tsked.  
"But that's because I'm in college full-time."  
Tsk, tsk, tsk again.  
"Computer graphics, CGI, animation, that kind of stuff," he added helpfully, and was met with more tsking. Was Kouichi not going to help him anymore if he wasn't impressed by him or something?  
"My social status, meaning, am I like a king or something?"  
"Do you have another boyfriend and/or girlfriend?"  
"Oh, no, of course not. I've...never had anyone else."  
Kouichi nodded at this.  
"I'm poor-"  
"All you need to say," Kouichi interrupted sympathetically. He understood completely.  
"Family matters...my brother's a pyro."  
"Anti-gay?"  
"Oh, no, he burns everything."  
"No, your parents," he prodded patiently.  
"Oh. My dad...yeah. A little. My mom, not so much."  
"Do they know?"  
"No one does except for you, Kouji, a really stupid friend, and pretty much every single person who was in that restaurant."  
Kouichi seemed to wither with embarrassment for his brother, but he also seemed to be chuckling.  
"And that's pretty much all there is to Kanbara Takuya." And it was. He was a very simple guy. "Now…" He leaned in, suddenly extremely interested. "Tell me about Kouji. Please." His face was glowing like he'd just unwrapped the best Christmas present in the whole world.

"Let's see." Kouichi fell back, tapping his fingers on the table. "I guess that was enough information. For now," he said sternly, as though fully expecting to hear his entire life's story complete with footnotes about childhood memories and a family tree sometime before the night was out. "And in exchange...Kouji is definitely gay, despite what he said to you in the restaurant." Takuya's heart lifted so high he thought he would faint.  
"For real?" Kouichi nodded.  
"He's just kind of still getting over it. He's not really at ease with it yet, so when he's approached by the subject, he gets really nasty about it. And he's a bit of a drinker, so, that makes it worse."  
"Oh." He sounded down trodden.  
"He's not an alcoholic or anything," Kouichi amended immediately afterwards. "He just sometimes drinks a little more than he should, and it makes him...rougher around the edges than he really is. You know what they say about moderate portions when it comes to drinking? What Kouji does is he gets his moderate portion. Then he goes back and gets another moderate portion. Then another. Luckily, he never really gets drunk; he just gets really temperamental and stupid."  
"My dad drank a lot."  
"Oh." There was awkward silence for a moment. "It's kind of ironic how that turns out, isn't it?"  
"Yeah." But he immediately leaned in again, looking for more information on Kouji and looking excited to be receiving it. "What else is he like?"  
"What else do you want to know?"  
"Everything. Just spout out random information about him. I want to know everything."  
Kouichi bit at one of his nails, though not nervously. In fact, he was sort of amused. "What should happen is, you should go see Kouji and ask him yourself."  
Takuya looked dejected, thinking Kouichi wouldn't give him anything else, when he heeded his request, very suddenly and very quickly.

"He's been growing his pony-tail since he was seven. He loves dogs and he owns a German Shepherd Dog, though he wants a Tervuren, (that's a variety of Belgian Shepherd) and he doesn't like ketchup and he doesn't like scrambled eggs, but he'll eat them together, just not separate. He started drinking when he was fifteen, (don't ask me how he pulled that off) and he's a hypocrite because he's always dissing alcoholics though he's borderline himself. We were separated when we were six due to divorce, but we were thankfully always allowed to see each other. We both resemble our mother and barely at all our father; however, like our father, he needs glasses that he substitutes with contacts that bug the crap out of him because he has very dry eyes. His problem is that he's actually quite vain and thinks he looks terrible with glasses, even though I think he looks kind of nifty with them and kind of like Jin from Samurai Champloo. Are you into anime?"  
"...What...?" He was totally focused on following the Kouji-train; his mind had suddenly derailed at being asked a random question. "Oh. No...Wait, yes, yes! Duh." Kouichi shook his head.  
"Mentally, be on your feet at all times. Kouji likes people who think fast."  
"O-okay."  
"He'll only sleep with silk pajamas. He likes to think I'm gayer than him because he's still got the denial thing going on, but it's painfully obvious when you spend like two hours with him. He listens to music from like thirty years ago, and if it's not a few decades old, it's in German, Belgian, or Russian. Speaking of German, he likes dark chocolate, (which is ironic because I like white chocolate, and after I told you with our colours and what not, you'd think it would be opposite) and he speaks German, very well might I add. I think I got ahead of myself... backing up a minute, I think despite what he says, he's very proud of his body and likes to show it off. He just doesn't like other people commenting on it because he thinks every person that ever approaches him while he's _trying_ to be sexy just wants him for sex, though this completely defeats the point of him acting sexy. Do you have a problem with that?"  
"...With...what?" Takuya asked, sounding irrittated. He was annoyed that he had to think when he was trying to learn about Kouji.  
"Him acting sexy all the time."  
"Why would I?"  
"Oh. Okay. He has a habit of getting on a particular subject and sticking with it for days and ranting about it. If I hadn't given you the address and I wasn't about to send you on your way to meet him; don't start freaking out, you can stay here a little while longer; he'd be ranting about "That Guy" for days. Because after all, you've got SOME nerve walking up to Kouji like a civilized human being and expressing interest in a romantic relationship rather than a single night of the condom brigade. Let's see...I gave him his bandana three years ago and he wears it because he hopes it makes him look bad-ass instead of just molestable.  
"Heh, you're going to think I'm going to hell for this, but I did give it to him as a joke knowing "navy" stood for "anal". No kidding. I got away with it because his favourite colour is blue; I haven't mentioned that yet, have I? I swear I had no idea about the goldenrod thing, though I'm thoroughly amused by it because Kouji is, in fact, well endowed. Am I going too fast?"  
Takuya stared at him, fully absorbed, waiting for him to go on. He barely registered that he'd stopped. His mouth was hanging open, and besides an occasional blink, he was stone still.  
"One moment, let me think of something... he's actually younger than me by three or four minutes and he was born very small at birth. Both of us have metabolism issues, so we sort of stay stick figures and never build up any fat or muscle, no matter how much we either eat or work out. Don't let that fool you though; Kouji's not a buff bodybuilder, but he can toss you over his shoulder like a toothpick. He took Judo and Aikido for nine years, after all. He likes seafood but cares less about beef unless it's cooked until it's basically leather, thus completely ruining the meat. I personally like mine medium-rare. Oh, you too?  
"Well, he talks to inanimate objects when searching for the answer to a problem because talking it out helps him concentrate, (and he thinks I'm strange) and his favourite time of the year is summer because he's constantly cold and he despises the winter for making him colder. It's that metabolism issue again, you see. He has abnormally large feet yet very small and feminine hands, and on that topic, he was bullied because he was such a shrimp when he was a little kid. You see, that's why he gets very violent when confronted with anyone he thinks is trying to do harm to him. It's why he overreacts to people hitting on him, because I guess he thinks they're going to use him and walk out on him and try to 'break his heart' or something.  
"Ooh, you'll love this one; when we were five he put on a dress and said he felt so pretty he wished he were a girl, and he swears on my mother's grave he would torture me to a slow, painful death if I ever told anyone that. I guess I'm dying then, huh? Heh; he's had one girlfriend that nothing ever happened with and I'd like to say two boyfriends, though they never actually went out and nothing ever happened between them either. Kouji's never really been in a serious relationship; he just sort of pretends he is with random women because they practically throw themselves at him, and he figures, hey, let's use these otherwise completely useless women (Er...he's a bit sexist, you see) and pretend I'm straight! Because he gets smart ideas like that. Finally, he likes old samurai and bushido-type movies, and you know, things like that, because he's really into the honor-code thing for some reason. Catch all of that?"  
Amazingly, Takuya absorbed every word of this, and if Kouichi were to suddenly throw a "Pop Quiz on Kouji" on him, he'd pass with flying colours. He was still staring at him and waiting for more information on Kouji to cram into his brain, but he finally seemed to have finished.

"But I think most of all, I think Kouji needs a decent relationship with someone." Kouichi nodded, as though agreeing with himself. "You're obviously very dedicated to finding him, and...I hope pursuing a relationship with him; I'm going to feel very stupid if I do end up getting Kouji and you together and you two do a one-night stand and that's it." Takuya shook his head vigorously. "What's going to happen is Kouji is just going to be so blown away by you showing up at his door, (perfectly calm, might I add, not like how you appeared here) that he might forget to be angry. Hopefully he'll still be less-drunk-than-drunk to where he won't be able to get angry, but he won't be as sharp as he could be, and when he does see you, he won't go into a rant on you."  
"Can I manage that?" Takuya thought aloud, and Kouichi patted his arm.  
"If not, well, expect some violence in the near future. So let's hope so."  
"Can you tell me how to find him?"  
"I'll drive you there myself. It'll be difficult to read street signs in the dark."  
Takuya shook his head again. ""No, no, I was going to go in the morning. It's too late now."  
"Kouji's an insomniac."  
"Oh. Well, still, there's like an acceptable period of time at night you can visit people, and I think we're past that."  
"Nonsense, Kouji doesn't care. I've gone to visit him at three in the morning before. Found him awake and playing games on his computer."  
"I still think it would be better to go in the morning."  
"Kouji works-"  
"Then tomorrow afternoon."  
"-until night-time tomorrow."  
"Then tomorrow night."  
"Why would you go tomorrow night when you're going to be in the same situation as tonight-night?"  
Takuya had no answer for him.  
"Listen, if you're just calm and you keep a cool head and you don't start freaking out, I think at the very least he'll be amused that you took so much trouble to follow him, and at the least he'll give you the time of day. If he kicks you out afterwards, that's not your fault, that's his fault, I'm going to kick his ass for it later."  
"That's it, huh?"  
"Yep, that's it. I can at least promise you he won't start freaking out like he did in the restaurant; by now he's probably dried out. He had all the alcohol he usually drinks in one day this afternoon, and he shouldn't be touching anymore. Kouji doesn't overindulge in the stuff; he knows when he's hit his limit."  
"Does he?" Takuya wondered, not really expecting an answer.  
"Here's what I'm going to do. First, I'll drop you off. I'll stick around in case he throws you out. Hopefully his soft side will show, he'll realize it's late, you can tell him you don't have a ride home, and he'll let you stay the night. You're going to be perfectly calm because Kouji likes calm people. And you're going to make that thick-headed brother of mine give you a chance."  
"You're really desperate to get him a boyfriend, aren't you?"  
"I'm desperate to get him a life."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I wrote most of this chapter at maybe 4 a.m. at night. Yaaay me.

Don't forget the comments, people. Positive, negative, praise, critique, lay it on me.

OH YEAH. When the next chapter comes out, you're going to be really confused unless you read the full version over at mediaminer. You can find the link to my account in my profile. I'm sorry; I had to cut out like the entire ending because of silly-head rating restrictions.  
Go read the REAL version...OVER THAR.

Thank you :D

The Bandana Effect

* * *

Takuya spent a lot of time analyzing that sentence as Kouichi drove him to Kouji. Get him a life? What the heck was that supposed to mean? Sure, Kouji was apparently not the Social King of Japan, but that didn't mean he couldn't have a life. He, Takuya, had never had a boyfriend, and that didn't mean he didn't have a life; that was going a bit too far! Kouji spends a lot of time on the computer? Hey, so did he. Obviously, considering his major. This was good. They ACTUALLY had something in common. This was a good thing when pursuing a relationship!  
"You aren't going to have a panic attack or anything, are you?" Kouichi was eyeing him suspiciously. "Like I said, you're just going to provoke him if you freak out in front of him."Distracted, Takuya shook his head.  
"I wouldn't spurt out love vows the second you see him, either," he continued. "Then he might just really think you're weird."  
"He already thinks I'm a stalking rapist," Takuya sighed as he leaned into the back of his seat.  
"Oh, Kouji thinks everyone has the potential for rape and thus everyone is a rapist. He's got a very gloomy outlook on life. He sees people walking down the street and starts thinking stuff about how some lives are useless and what not."  
Takuya dared to ask, hoping it wouldn't spark a conflict between him and Kouichi. "Does he have...depression or something? Like clinically?"  
"No," Kouichi said very firmly, and Takuya shrunk for asking. "Kouji is just a realist. He sees things in black and white."  
"I understand."  
"No, you don't," Kouichi said gently, yet strangely defensively, and Takuya shrunk more. "Just don't be concerned for my brother in that way."  
"But he is an alcoholic? Like bad?"  
"Like I said, Kouji usually takes a certain amount, then cuts himself off and refuses to drink past that amount. He had that amount at the bar. It's highly unlikely he went home and started drinking himself into a coma."  
"Highly unlikely, huh?"  
"Highly."  
"Somehow that's not very comforting."  
"Don't worry. Even if he decided to go home and drink more, he'll be such a slosh that you'll be totally safe."  
"This is also not comforting."  
"Yeah, I'm not really good at that either."

The car suddenly stopped. Takuya was so absorbed in his thoughts that it didn't occur to him that they'd stopped for a reason until Kouichi said, "Last stop on the Kouichi Express; Kouji-Land."  
"Do I have to go in now?" he whined. "Can't I just...wait a second?"  
"Why?"  
"To...you know...get up my nerve."  
"Like you did when you came to see me?"  
Takuya did not answer.  
"Just go ahead and get it over with. What's the point in waiting?"  
"Because...it's...Kouji."  
"Yes..." Kouichi confirmed, as though he were slow.  
"And he makes me really nervous."  
"Yes..." he said again, this time a little agitated.  
"And this is really dumb."  
"...Yes, actually, it is." Kouichi unbuckled his seat-belt, and reached across Takuya's lap. He fell a little short, so he actually fell onto his lap when his hand finally connected with the door handle. He pulled it, pushed the door open, and withdrew back into his seat. Meanwhile, Takuya stared at him as if he were completely nuts.  
"You're REALLY desperate to get him a boyfriend, aren't you?"  
"Get out of my car, go talk to my brother, and fall in love. If Kouji kicks you out and makes it clear he doesn't like you, I don't want to see your face again. If you take advantage of Kouji and his...emotional state...and have sex with him once and break up with him, I never want to see your face again, and you DAMN well better not even TEMPT me to come kick your ass. As it stands at this very moment, I don't want to see your face again anyway...unless you and Kouji have become an 'item'."  
"Now you just don't like my face?"  
"Out of my car."  
Kouichi started playfully smacking him on the shoulder to force him out of his seat, and even as he once again threatened to hunt him down and tear his fucking head off if he caused Kouji any grief, he was smiling, very widely. Somehow, Takuya got the feeling that he was simultaneously joking, and not.  
"For the record," Kouichi added as he started up the car again. "I have no problem with you and Kouji getting intimate tonight, as long as you intend to keep it up later on down the road."  
"Is your entire family this dysfunctional?" Takuya felt the need to ask, no matter how rude it sounded. It felt like a legitimate question to him. Kouichi got the gist that he was simultaneously joking, and not.  
"Yes. Yes we are. And there is plenty more to come, so welcome to the family. Have fun; wear a condom; don't let him drink; have him home by midnight; don't drop dead at his doorstep."  
Nonetheless, even with Kouichi being unpredictably helpful and harmful, Takuya stuck his head back in the window.  
"Thank you. I really appreciate all you've done. I swear; if Kouji allows it, I'm not going to let him go."  
"That...SORT of what I wanted to hear," he said a little reluctantly. "I was kind of amused by you being his romantic stalker until he has a revelation about how you should be together for eternity, but I guess that works too."  
And he was gone. Takuya knew he was going to be waiting just around the corner, albeit for no more than ten minutes, but as far as he was concerned, he was gone. He was facing Kouji all alone.

Takuya stood at the edge of the property, feeling a little sick as he stared at his door. These two must be some sort of representation of the Prince and the Pauper; Kouichi was very poor and very thrifty, but Kouji reveled in expensive decoration. He lived in a real home, a pretty old one actually, complete with a property fence and an ornate gate that opened to a path of stepping stones leading to the door. Beside the fence and on a pillar was a nameplate; "Minamoto." There were two family members listed, which surprised him, and Kouji's name wasn't even first. The top name was "Kousei." That was weird...  
There was a fantastic array of foliage, some of it in bloom and some of it not, surrounding the place, and least of all an orchestra of crickets and frogs chirping all around him. There was even an extremely tiny pond with a miniature waterfall, where two lone koi swam contentedly. It was very peaceful; he wondered how often Kouji came out here to just let the serenity wash over him, and if he ever did so at all, or he just had it all there for the sheer sake of ambience.  
_'For a drunk,'_ Takuya thought, _'He's sure got it made.'  
_The gate was unlocked, and soundless. He tenderly stepped on each and every stone leading to the door, taking his sweet, sweet time in getting there. He WAS going to be completely calm. He was NOT going to freak out for any reason.  
'But wait!' he thought the second he came within an arm's reach of the door. 'What if Kousei is here? Who exactly is this other person? What if Kouichi doesn't realize they're together and I interrupt them? What if Kouichi was just playing a joke on me?'  
His arm stayed frozen in front of the door, his fist prepared to knock on it at the first sign of courage, however slight, but his mind was prepared to hold out all night before actually knocking.  
And he had good reason, he thought. This wasn't just Kouji's house.  
But if he didn't hurry up, Kouichi would leave, and he wouldn't have a ride home! God knew how far away he was from home!  
Maybe he should just run back to him, pretend that Kouji had rejected him, and get the hell away...

There was a light on. Someone was moving around inside. He heard...whimpering. He heard Kouji's voice, loud and clear, and as a result, his breathing picked up rapidly.  
"Alright, alright...I'll let you out," he heard someone say gruffly. A light came on over his head. He heard someone directly behind the door; saw them turning the door knob.  
"Oh, shit," he squeaked, and he prepared to flee, but it was too late; the door opened.  
"I'll bring you back in-" Kouji paused mid sentence. Takuya could've melted at his voice; it was so soft and affectionate, but it wasn't for him at all. Kouji was holding an enormous German Shepherd Dog by the collar, and he was straining to get at him, not to attack, but probably to be pet. His tail was going a hundred miles an hour, and he was smiling his happy doggy smile. His owner didn't look nearly so pleased to see him.  
"What. The. FUCK. Are you doing here?" he hissed. Takuya took a step back.  
"I...was...just..." He couldn't stop staring at Kouji. Snow bathrobe; pink, sweaty skin; damp hair pouring down his shoulders like a luscious, black waterfall. He looked incredible. His mind was wiped blank. He even forgot to be terrified at the look of utter disdain Kouji was giving him.  
"How did you find out where I lived?" His voice was gaining in pitch. It was high with anger and confusion. "Are you really stalking me? Is that it? You're just following me around and looking around my house so you can find out how to break in later?"  
"N-no...That's not it at all..."  
"You...you sick, twisted little _shit_!"  
"Kouji, please! Just listen for a second!"  
"Get back in, boy, come on." Kouji tried to pull the enormous beast back inside, and he kept casting a worried eye at Takuya, as though if he were to let him touch his dog, he'd suddenly pull at a machete and proceed to cut off his head. "GET IN HERE."  
The dog pulled hard against his owner's grip until he finally let go, and he rushed at Takuya and jumped on his chest. "GET AWAY FROM HIM!" he roared. Takuya could have lost control of his bladder in fear, but he just looked down for a split second to acknowledge the dog, and after he'd pat his head patiently, his gaze returned to Kouji. He was emotionally torn between leaving his beloved companion with a possibly dangerous stranger, and running the hell away and putting many walls between himself and Takuya. Retrieving his pet involved going closer to Takuya. He was either absolutely livid with anger, or about to break down from distress. It was breaking Takuya's heart to see that look on his face. He took a deep breath, and tried to start over.  
"Hello," Takuya said slowly, almost afraid to talk. "I'm...my name's Takuya. I..."  
I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable at that bar and I apologize for my rude intrusion on your privacy?  
I understand that you're probably a little disturbed right now, and I can't tell you how sorry I am that this seems so much like I'm stalking you?  
"I think I love you."  
Complete, utter genius.

This time, Kouji took a step back. He started snapping his fingers. "C'mere boy, come on." He whistled. "That's a good boy; come back inside. Come on!"  
The dog looked from his master to his new friend, and he wagged his tail. He fell from Takuya's chest, but he continued sitting at his feet. He started butting Takuya's hand with his head, demanding to be pet, but Takuya was reaching towards Kouji.  
"Please, if you'll just...I know this is weird-"  
"Come on, that's a good boy, come back inside." Kouji was slowly backing away. He had one foot in the house; he was clearly expecting Takuya to suddenly rush at him and try to overtake him and rape him. He was confused that Takuya was just standing there, holding his dog's complete attention, making no threatening move towards him. "Good boy, good boy," he cooed. "I'll give you a treat. Want a treat? My good boy wants a treat?" The dog sat there, now being pet, and perfectly happy with the whole goddamn world as long as he was being pet. Already, Takuya absolutely adored this brilliant dog that kept Kouji in his vicinity for more than a few seconds.  
"Kouji..." He stiffened; he scowled. He seemed to think Takuya was emitting an extremely unpleasant odor. "Listen, I know this is really weird-" he tried to start again, but he was once again interrupted.  
"Give me back my dog," he demanded, still in a disturbingly high pitch. "Stop petting him. Just ignore him and he'll come back to me."  
"I'm really not stalking you. I just...your brother, he gave me a little help-"  
"I'm going to murder him." Kouji had both feet in the house now, and one hand on the door. He was about to just slam it shut and leave his beautiful dog out with a stranger as long as it meant getting away from Takuya. For the first time, he realized how red his cheeks were. His eyes looked a little wild. It occurred to Takuya that his voice sounded so odd because he was drunk.  
"Just go away," he pleaded. "Just go away and leave me alone!"  
"I want...I want to be with you. I want to help you." His thoughts were getting less coherent by the second. He felt fluttery inside; he didn't know how to describe himself.  
"THEN GIVE ME BACK MY FUCKING DOG!" he yelled. He tensed up; he was prepared to slam the door at a moment's notice, should Takuya decide to try and rush into the house or something equally as threatening. As far as Kouji was concerned, rape was imminent. It was actually annoying him that Takuya was just STANDING there, very unthreateningly.  
"Okay, okay." Takuya crossed his arms over his chest. The Shepherd started bouncing up to him and he tried to nip at his arms, demanding attention, but he quickly grew bored, and of his own free will, he slunk off into the yard. Kouji held an arm out to stop him, but he slowly put it down.  
"Forgot...he has to pee..." Kouji leaned against the doorframe, and held his temple gently. "God, help me."

Takuya took a step towards him; Kouji promptly returned to his feet and took a step back. He was prepared with the door again.  
"I'm warning you," he said in a deep voice. "I've been taking Judo for almost ten years. I could twist you into a pretzel if you really pissed me off."  
"I believe you," Takuya said honestly.  
"I'm not kidding!" he said louder, as though Takuya had challenged this fact. "I'll break your fucking arm if you even try to lay a hand on me!" He nervously looked to his dog, who was currently sniffing an out-of-season cherry tree and lifting a leg on it. It was clear he would be no help should this person turn out to be a deranged rapist, prepared with a machete, and with multiple strange sex fetishes.  
"That's not what I want."  
"Then what DO you want?" Now, he just sounded exasperated; even a little curious. He stopped looking nervous; he was just a little agitated. "Who the hell ARE you?"  
Takuya was twiddling his thumbs, unsure of exactly how he could explain himself to Kouji now that he was given permission to speak. "I...um...I really like you." Kouji stared at him, impatiently, as though he were being timed. Takuya started trying to rush before Kouji just gave up on him, and his thoughts became even less coherent. "I want to...you know...talk, maybe. Get to know you. I want to figure you out." His eyes searched for his dog; he was squatting over a bed of flowers. "I know this is really weird," he said yet again, as though the effect of this statement would be magnified upon repetition. "But I think if you gave me a chance, you'd really like me too." He felt dumb; stupid. Kouichi had said that Kouji liked people with quick minds and a lot of intelligence. Takuya was currently just standing around, patting dogs, and saying a lot of meaningless nonsense. This entire visit may as well have been completely pointless. Why didn't he prepare something to say beforehand? What a dumbass.

The dog bounded back up to his master, and he wagged his tail, as if expecting praise.  
"Go in." The dog immediately obeyed. Kouji stood in the doorway, glaring at Takuya with one hand on the door and with his mouth open, ready to say something extremely clever, rude, in-your-face and completely relevant. Takuya was expecting a fantastic finishing move by a very experienced fighter who was up against a pathetic newbie crying senseless babble, with a bendy wooden stick instead of a finely crafted sword. Takuya prepared to turn around and start walking, perhaps even start crying at his own stupidity.  
"Well, come in then."  
And thus, the rest of Takuya's organs dispersed upon the stone he was currently standing on, and began to seep into the ground. He meekly accepted.

The dog pranced into another room; it seemed to be the kitchen area. He started lapping up water, and then he fell to the floor, panting happily. Takuya still wanted to run over to it, collapse to the floor with it, and kiss it repeatedly.  
"So..." Kouji said slowly, as Takuya kicked off his shoes. "Kouichi helped you?"  
"Uh...yeah." Kouji wasn't looking at him. He also entered the kitchen. Takuya heard glasses clinking together. "It was kind of strange actually," he tried to laugh, only half-hoping his voice would carry. "I just...I guess he saw something in me and he was nice enough to figure I deserved a shot."  
"Don't flatter yourself. He's done this every couple of months for six years."  
Ouch.  
"Oh."  
"It's just never been with anyone I've KNOWN. Especially dicks who try to pick me up at a bar, like I'll be a nice, drunk, pliable little piece of ass for your nightly amusement."  
"That...um...wasn't my intention."  
He heard Kouji make some kind of noise, like an extremely exaggerated scoff. "Your bandana stands for anal sex and it means you have a huge penis, and that's why I approached you, but I DEFINITELY didn't do it for sex, if that's what you're thinking. You're pathetic." Kouji came back in a glass in hand. It was full of some kind of amber liquid.  
"...Kouichi wanted me to tell you to not drink anymore tonight."  
"Tell him to go fuck himself, since you two are so tight and cozy." Kouji fell into a dark, shiny pleather couch, and he propped his feet up on a matching foot stand.  
"I can't. He doesn't want to see my face again unless you and I get together. So...be my boyfriend and I'll tell him every day for the next six years to go fuck himself," he said, simultaneously joking, and not. At least, it made Kouji smirk.  
"Sit down or something. It's stupid to have you standing there. NOT with me," he warned as Takuya made a move for the couch. Instead he plopped on another pleather piece of furniture, this one a recliner, and he proceeded to twiddle his thumbs in embarrassment. Kouji's bathrobe had opened slightly, and it revealed a portion of his chest. Now Takuya just felt really awkward, and he blushed, trying to keep his thoughts clean.  
Admittedly...it was hard to think about Kouji without thinking about having sex with him.  
"Want a drink?" Kouji took a long swig out of his glass, as though it were nothing stronger than a glass of pure, natural spring water.  
"Thank you...but I don't drink."  
"Figure you'll get me nice and drunk and you'll still be completely in control, huh? Then you can just carry me up to my bedroom and have your way with me, and I'll never remember a thing."  
At first Takuya didn't respond, but as Kouji gulped down the last of his beverage, he hesitantly asked, "Why are you so suspicious of me? Why are you so ADAMANT in assuming I don't want you for anything but sex? Can't I just be a friendly guy looking to pursue a normal relationship with you?"  
"Normal guys looking to pursue a normal relationship with other people, particularly other guys, do not stalk them, and then get their brothers to drop them off at their homes practically in the middle of the night on their doorstep and then try to convince them that they're just 'looking to talk' after approaching them solely based on what they believed was a sex symbol."  
Ouch again.  
Kouji stood and began walking back to the kitchen. Properly scolded, Takuya muttered, "Right you are." This satisfied him for some reason, and he wore a smirk all the way into the kitchen.

Takuya couldn't see any sign of someone else living in the home. Everything seemed to be focused around one person's living space, save for the extra seating. It took Takuya a minute to find it, but he finally did: there, on a side table, practically hidden by a gorgeous dragon sculpture beside Kouji's couch. It contained Kouji himself, looking even younger and standing with another man, a much older man. The only thing that was lucky about finding it: they seemed to be standing beside each other mutually, not affectionately, as though they were involved.  
"So, _Takuya,"_ Kouji said scornfully as he abruptly reentered the room. Takuya fell a little too quickly back, making it pathetically obvious he'd been caught snooping around. He felt nosy; what was he doing trying to pry into his life? "What makes you think I'd be interested in you at all? You must know I could have anyone. There's dozens at my disposal. You're nothing special."  
Something Kouichi had said earlier came back to him. "You felt threatened by me, and you had to overreact and exaggerate our meeting to compensate for the fact that I didn't do much to piss you off."  
"You randomly waltzed up to me and basically said, excuse me, I like your penis. Want to do the nasty?"  
"I didn't say that at all," Takuya replied testily. "I said hello, I'd noticed your bandana, and can I have your name."  
"And why did you approach me?"  
"Because...of the bandana."  
"And why did you approach me because of the bandana?" he wheedled, fully expecting to trap Takuya in a stone-solid contradiction. If the bandana stood for sex, and Takuya approached him because of the bandana, he must have approached him for sex. Takuya, however, was no longer panicking. He was calm enough to come up with a non-incriminating answer.  
"Because it just meant you were gay. I mean, it doesn't really mean that I want to have sex with you as much as it was just a method of finding one gay man in an ocean of straight men. Unlike the typical male-female couple, I can't just walk on over to any man I see that looks even slightly attractive and say, hey there, you're very attractive, perhaps we can pursue a relationship."  
This obviously was not a response Kouji had prepared himself for. He seemed a little taken aback, and to make himself busy, he slowly sipped his new drink. Takuya was betting it was more koshu; that seemed to be his favorite.  
"Why exactly are you interested in me?" Kouji muttered, and he crossed one leg over the other. "I made it damn clear I wanted nothing to do with you."  
"And I think by now I've made it damn clear that I want everything to do with you. I guess we're both just going to have to be ticked off at each other and learn to deal with that." Kouji actually chuckled at this, and Takuya beamed. There, he was holding his own. Kouichi was right; Kouji liked a smart-ass.  
"You're one weird guy," Kouji decided. He finished off his drink again, but instead of going back for more, he put it on the table between them. "Did it just not even occur to you that the bandana might NOT have been such a symbol? Couldn't you have waited a minute rather than just running right on over to the first guy you see sitting alone at a bar? THAT in itself..."  
"I don't think you realize it, but I sat in my little booth for a good hour getting my nerve up to go talk to you, thank you very much. And that worry crossed my mind many, many times." This also was not what Kouji was expecting. He seemed to reach for his drink again, before he realized he was going for an empty glass. His fingers twitched a little.  
"Didn't think of that," he muttered again. "Just figure everyone just...comes over and tries to just round me up like a cattle fit for grade-A sirloin. And almost the second Kouichi left..." Kouji didn't seem to be watching Takuya all that intently, and he stole a couple more guilty looks around the house, trying to find pictures. Kouji didn't really seem interested in memorabilia; the only other one he could find was of a pretty brunette woman with glasses. She also looked much older than Kouji; he couldn't explain who they were. It was another mystery of the enigma that was Kouji. At first he started wondering if the man had been his father, (which would explain why the hiragana in both of their names, "kou," was the same on their nameplate) and if the brunette woman was his mother, but Kouichi had said that they both looked like their mother. Kouji didn't look like either the man or the woman.

Kouji took his glass in hand, just to have something in it. He was shaking his head, and was now trying to follow every movement Takuya made closely.  
"So," he said gruffly, and for the first time, his voice was a little slurred. "That's all I wanted to know." Takuya was surprised. Kouji was trying to end the conversation? He'd been inside for less than ten minutes.  
"That's it? Just like that?"  
"Yeah." Kouji was playing with his glass. He was contemplating getting it refilled, but he apparently decided against it.  
"Does that mean-"  
"I don't like you," he said matter-of-factly, as plainly as he could. "And I don't just mean, I don't like you enough to want to be your boyfriend. I just don't LIKE you. You piss me off really bad. I feel like chucking this at your head." He waved his glass in Takuya's direction. "Well there; your plan has failed. What exactly do you want to do? I suppose my brother decided to just drop you off here without a ride?" He sounded strangely smug, like he derived great pleasure from turning him down.  
"Yeah, that was the rest of the plan I guess." Takuya was adamantly ignoring all that Kouji had just said; he still couldn't accept the rejection, and this time, he had good reason. Kouji said he didn't want anything to do with him, yet here he was, in his house, talking to him like civilized people do, and he was sure Kouji was going to let him stay. This much was obvious to Takuya; Kouji said one thing, but he meant another.  
"And what is my role in this plan?"  
"You're supposed to let me stay the night." Kouji held his face in his free hand, and he rubbed at his eyes.  
"I won't be a bother," he added quickly. "I can just stay on the couch or something and I'll be fully clothed, and I'd really appreciate it; we're miles away from my apartment, and I don't think I can call anyone I know for a ride."  
"Whatever." Kouji slammed his glass down on the table; for some, inexplicable reason he seemed to be in a bad mood. He pushed himself up, took a moment to get steady on his feet, and then stood before Takuya, glaring at him harshly. "You are not to leave the living room except to use the bathroom. It's...somewhere over there." He jerked his thumb in some vague direction, like at the moment, HE couldn't quite remember where it was. "You may not come looking for me. You may not call or talk to me for any reason. You may not get up and explore things. You may not strip off any layer of clothing. You MUST leave by ten o'clock a.m. tomorrow. I'm not wasting the gas to drive you anywhere. If you must, you can call Kouichi, and HE can rectify his stupid experiment." Kouji pointed a finger right in Takuya's face. "Understand?"  
"Yes."  
Kouji turned to walk away from Takuya; he walked into the table and got his knee very hard, but did little more than hiss. He held his leg gently, waiting for the sharp pain to go away, and then he started limping. He flicked off the kitchen light and the outside light.  
"Uh...Kouji..."  
"Just SHUT UP." Kouji was gritting his teeth; his leg was bothering him. "Just sleep on the fucking couch and leave in the morning so we can both get on with our lives. I don't want a relationship with anyone for any reason. So if you were sitting there thinking you were all clever, guess again. I don't LIKE you!" he repeated hotly.  
Takuya hung his head. "Yes Kouji."  
Kouji was looking for something else to fume and rave about, but he wasn't thinking clearly; for a split second his whole body relaxed completely and he blinked a little too slowly, but then he was back on his feet again, shaking himself awake.  
"Then...good!" he said angrily, as though just completing an argument. After shutting out the remaining lights, including the living room light, he marched upstairs. The Shepherd realized his master was going to bed, and he trotted over to the stairs as well, bounding up them without a second look at the distraught brunet still on the couch. Takuya was left alone, in the dark.

Takuya was exhausted. The day had been this chaotic cocktail of excitement and disappointment, and he didn't have anything to show for it. He had his theory to hold to; perhaps Kouji SAID he didn't like him, but if he stuck around, he might give him a shot once he realized he wanted to stay put.  
However, it was really hard to even like Kouji at this point, and he actually spent a few minutes, as he stared up at the ceiling, trying to convince himself he shouldn't like Kouji anyway. He was a hot-tempered drunk and he was bitter to the whole world. He didn't like anyone, and he barely tolerated his own brother. He was a jerk, and he was pretty much a hermit; he only wanted his solitude. Such a person was pretty much the least attractive mate imaginable, no matter how beautiful his body was, and it was a useless cause with no reward at the end for Takuya to keep fighting for him. Even if he convinced Kouji to like him a little, he had no doubt in his mind that if Kouji got angry enough, he could become abusive. He'd just gotten over living with a drunk; why would he purposely put himself right back into that situation?  
Still, after this brief period of depressing thoughts passed, he took care to plan how he would deal with Kouji in the morning, and how he'd work to convince him that he, Takuya, WAS someone worth looking into. If he had it his way, by next week, he and Kouji would have officially become an "item," as Kouichi wanted, and Kouji will have magically realized that he did, in fact, adore him.  
Takuya fell asleep to the positive thoughts, and so he had positive dreams. Clean ones, too; happy dreams about lying on this couch with Kouji, like a lover, and feeding him fruit while they watched television; just perfectly innocent lovers. And his hair was so gorgeous and so perfect, and he would run his fingers through it and smell his sweet, natural scent...and occasionally the dog would become a bother and it would insist on jumping up onto the couch in between them, demanding that their attention be directed at him instead of each other. And Kouji would hug the dog and coo at it and pet it, and then coyly look back at Takuya, as if saying, "Well, maybe there is ONE other thing that I hold dear to my heart..."  
Maybe they'd just lock the dog in a different room so there'd be nothing in between them...  
He was so deep into these dreams that he didn't even hear anyone coming down the stairs, and he didn't even notice that someone was crawling on top of him. He didn't even notice something hesitantly rubbing his crotch; he figured it was just dream-Kouji being a tease. And he barely even noticed something playing with his mouth, until he realized there was a foreign tongue inside it.

"Ah-wha?" he groaned as he forced himself awake. He was suddenly, painfully aware that there was something very heavy on top of him. It was still pitch black, and he had no idea what on earth was happening until-  
"Takuya..." He almost passed out again from sheer shock. _Kouji was on top of him._ He could just, just see his outline in the dark; there was the aid of moonlight and a porch light coming through the window. All too quickly, he realized that Kouji was naked, and he had a very, very obvious erection.  
"What are you doing?" he stuttered. Kouji was leaning into him, putting his entire body into his. He was so _warm._ It felt really nice.  
"All you want from me is sex, right?" He sounded completely clear-headed, but Takuya couldn't believe for an instant that he WANTED to do this. He MUST still be drunk. "So...if all you want is to screw around with me, and I feel like screwing around, we can both just use each other. It makes it nice and easy. Then you can leave in the morning because you got what you wanted, and I'll be satisfied until the next guy Kouichi throws my way."  
"You...you do this to all of them?"  
"No, I do not! What do you think I am; a slut?" Takuya didn't trust himself to respond. "Some of them really are just giant dicks and I'd just as soon castrate them as I would fuck them. I kind of like you." He giggled shortly, like a shy schoolgirl.  
Kouji MUST be REALLY drunk. Perhaps he had a stash up in his room.  
"What do you say?" Kouji's breath stank of sweet alcohol. He was gently jerking at his hard-on, and he barely seemed to have control of his limbs. It would be so wrong to take advantage of another person who didn't even realize what they were doing when intoxicated, but Kouji sounded so matter-of-fact, and his train of thought seemed so clear. It was very easy to pretend that Kouji wasn't drunk, and that he was completely in control of himself, and that he was just going to make love with a person he really liked. Besides, if nothing else, he'd get the chance to take him just once before he was thrown out indefinitely; the way Kouji had spoken to him, he would be promptly kicked out in the morning, and he'd be given no other second chance. This was all he had.  
Takuya took the chance.


	4. Chapter 4

Warning: This chapter contains a lot of inappropriate and otherwise immature language. This is probably a direct result of finally being turned on to South Park.

A/N: Ah, I knew this day would come. Usually I can just sort of yank out the smut in my stories and put the full versions on mm org so I can put a cleaner version on ff net, and it won't particularly modify the story. Unfortunately, I had to remove pretty much the entire ending, and the ending was kind of like...the catalyst for this entire chapter. If you didn't read it, I'm afraid to say you're going to be lost. Completely lost. You can find a link to my mm org stories in my profile, so like, go read it or something. Just scroll to the very last paragraph if you don't want the whole sexy part.  
If you really, REALLY don't want to read it, (for some reason...why wouldn't you want to read the porn?) then look:  
Takuya and Kouji started doing the nasty. At first Takuya just went down on him, and then he was going to score with Little Mr. Drunkpants. Then Booz'd Head threw up because he's a drunk bitch and DRINKS TOO MUCH. And he started crying.

Whew. Talk about plots taking up entire chapters D: So...little...sex...must...retain...interest...  
And there's SO. MUCH. TALKING. IN. THIS. CHAPTER.  
TALKING. LIKE. THIS. ON. A. REGULAR. BASIS. MUST. BE. DIFFICULT.

The next chapter is already half-written because I originally had meant to continue past the point I ended this at, but then decided to cut the ending here. Remember that reviews, good and critical, make me want to finish a story.  
Enjoy.

The Bandana Effect

* * *

For little more than half an hour, Takuya bid to whatever Kouji asked of him while he threw up, moaned, complained, and felt sorry for himself. He would clean up his face and his hands, and he'd comfort him while he cried and wailed about how unfair everything was and why did this have to happen to him, etc. And then just when he thought it was over, Kouji would lean down and hurl again, and thus the cycle would repeat itself, beginning with Kouji's pathetic wailing about how only HE would have to go through this shit.

Overall, it was a gross, tedious, thankless job. Takuya bet that Kouji didn't even recognize who the person fetching him water and cool washcloths was. He had no doubt that Kouji wasn't allowing Takuya to hug him and rock him because he liked him, but only because he wanted to be comforted through this thing that he apparently almost never dealt with. He was just happy that someone gave a damn, and never mind who that someone was.

Takuya figured that in the morning, Kouji would be rightfully scolded by nature itself, would not drink any time in the near future, and would be so wrung out and so out of energy that he would not protest to having Takuya in the house. And then, maybe Takuya would again gently reason with this much weaker Kouji, for he was sure that he would not fight back, and maybe, if anything, Kouji would allow Takuya to stick around until he felt like a normal person again.  
Takuya took care to fall asleep in the recliner and to let Kouji take up the couch, lest he wake up to Kouji screaming in his ear about sleeping with him and taking advantage of him. He had taken all precautions; he was fully dressed, and Kouji was back in his bathrobe, tied very tightly around his body.  
They'd been cleaned, and there was no hint that anything had taken place last night. At worse, Takuya expected to wake up to Kouji moaning himself awake sheerly from over exaggerated discomfort and self-pity, and for him to stupidly mutter that he should've left an hour ago.  
This is not what Takuya woke up to.

Takuya was slumped over the thick, squishy armrest of the recliner, and his head was buried in his arms. He was sound asleep. All of a sudden, out of no where, he heard a loud, blunt 'CLUNK', like something had just hit something else, very hard. And he was abruptly jolted from sleep by the sound of some kind of maniacal roar:  
"THAT FUCKING GODDAMN TABLE! I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD I'M GOING TO CHOP IT TO PIECES! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU, YOU LITTLE _BASTARD!"_ And when Takuya opened his eyes, it was to the sight of an enraged Kouji putting both hands under the table, and with all his strength, heaving it up into the air. For as heavy as it was, it somehow rolled across the room and hit the slim, stylish glass television stand directly across from it. This resulted in a torrent of breaking glass, which resulted in an avalanche of books, magazines, and remote controls clambering to the ground, and further resulted in a sickeningly loud CRASH as the television itself landed face-first onto the floor, probably broken.  
Takuya, exhausted, exasperated, and overworked, practically just settled his head back into his arms and went back to sleep.  
He was getting used to Kouji being Kouji, he supposed.

"AXE. I WILL FIND AN AXE, AND I WILL CUT IT UP! I WILL CHOP IT TO PIECES! I WILL BREAK EVERY. LAST. PIECE. UNTIL NOTHING IS LEFT BUT SPLINTERS! _I HATE THAT TABLE!"_ he finished with a shriek.  
And all of a sudden, it stopped. When Takuya opened his eyes again, Kouji was gone. In three seconds flat, he'd gone from psychotically raving about an innocent coffee table to browsing along in the kitchen, either to fix himself coffee, or another drink.  
Takuya sighed. It would definitely be a long morning.  
And it was only beginning.

"KOUICHI, YOU SON OF A BITCH!"  
And it began again. Takuya had barely picked himself up from the chair when he heard Kouji bellowing from within the kitchen again.  
"I DON'T GIVE A FUCK THAT WE COME FROM THE SAME MOTHER, YOU SMART LITTLE BASTARD! WHAT THE _FUCK_ DO YOU THINK YOU'RE UP TO, _AGAIN?"_  
Takuya just felt back into the recliner and groaned. He weakly tried to call to Kouji that he didn't have to yell, but was promptly overwhelmed. Kouji was very, very loud when he was angry.  
"I DON'T WANT HIM! I DON'T WANT THE OTHER HUNDREDS LIKE HIM. I'M NOT GAY, YOU LITTLE SHIT. STOP TOSSING _FAGS_ MY WAY YOU RETARDED LITTLE _TURD."_ All was quiet for a moment, and then he resumed, screaming as loudly as he could, "I DON'T GIVE A FLYING PIG'S FAT, ROUND ASS ABOUT YOUR FUCKING _FLOWERS!"_  
Takuya couldn't help himself; he laughed. He ran his fingers through his hair, and weakly managed to smile. Ah, well...he should still stick around. He felt like Kouji still needed him, even if Kouji himself thought otherwise.  
"I WILL EAT YOUR FLOWERS. I WILL CUT THEM UP, SLOWLY, PAINFULLY, AND THEN EAT THEM ALL, AND THEN CRAP THEM OUT THE NEXT MORNING. THAT'S HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOUR FUCKING _FLOWERS." _  
He very loudly, very violently slammed something down; probably a phone back onto a charger. He made loud, angry sounds for a couple more seconds, and then proceeded shuffling around in the kitchen.  
Takuya finally decided it was time to make an entrance into Kouji's World of the Hangover. It was a fearful prospect, but at this rate, he decided it would be best to try and calm Kouji down before he proceeded to break other expensive objects.

When he finally came to the kitchen doorway, Kouji was hunched over the trash can, which Takuya had replaced in the early hours of the morning, and he was making a quiet, pitiful little groaning noise. He almost seemed to be fighting back tears; and vomit.  
"Kouji?" His head snapped up. He was sobbing and panting; his eyes were struggling to focus on him, and he squinted desperately. He clenched his teeth and snarled back at the brunet, but he didn't trust himself away from the trash can.  
"This is all your fault," he seethed. "This is YOUR FAULT."  
"I didn't make you drink, Kouji."  
"YES YOU DID! YOU FREAKED ME OUT AND SHATTERED MY NERVES! I needed..." He weakly heaved, and he fell to his knees. He sobbed again, "I needed it to stop feeling like _shit_..." He fell back, his lips still quivering, his hand still on his stomach. He was swallowing hard, either trying to keep his emotions under control or trying to force down whatever bile had found its way up.  
"How are you feeling?" Takuya asked gently.  
"What the fuck do you think?"  
"Do you think you're going to be sick again?"  
Kouji hung his head, staring into the trashcan. He gazed wordlessly into the disgusting bottom as though it contained some sort of deep, philosophical significance, and then he just shook his head.  
"Come on; why don't I make you some breakfast?" Takuya took a step towards him, and Kouji snarled in his direction, although not actually AT him,  
"Do you really think I can fucking EAT right now?"  
"Maybe if you calm down, and sit at a table like a normal person, you can."  
"What's that supposed to me? I'm abnormal? YOU'RE the ABNORMAL one, asshole."  
"That's a pretty ballzy thing to say to a guy like me, all things considering." Kouji abruptly reached out and pushed the can over, hard, and let it roll across the floor, leaving a trail of vomit behind.  
"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!" he shouted. "JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" Takuya shrugged, and this small, insignificant action absolutely infuriated Kouji.  
"I've pretty much run out of patience for your bullshit. So either you let me take care of you, or I make you let me take care of you. I don't really care anymore; I'm not going anywhere."  
"GO. THE FUCK. AWAY. YOU. SICK. PIECE. OF SHIT."  
"I. Can also. Talk. In. Fragmented. Sentences. It. Does not. Work. Very. Well."  
"SHUT UP!! SHUT. UP."

Kouji sprinted across the room to a slim white phone hanging on the wall, and he put his hand over it. "One move, just make ONE MOVE TOWARDS ME buddy, and I'm calling the police and having you arrested."  
Takuya sighed, and he rubbed his itchy, tired eyes. "Come on, Kouji, be rational. You should know by now I'm just not going to give up; this is a waste of time."  
"Don't call me by name like you KNOW me!" he just snarled back.  
"If I have to force you to sit at that table and shove food down your throat, I will."  
Kouji removed the phone from the charger and held it in front of him, very threateningly, as though it were some kind of deadly weapon. "I'll give you to the count of three to GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT."  
"I'll give YOU till the count of three to stop screaming and to sit down like a normal person."  
"ONE."  
"One..."  
"TWO!"  
"Two..."  
"Th-" and before Kouji could complete the word, Takuya was suddenly rushing towards him. He squeaked out a cry and began punching the number pad, but before he knew it, Takuya was grabbing his arms and forcing them apart.  
"DON'T TOUCH ME YOU SICK STALKER."  
"Let go of the phone NOW, Kouji." There was a little tug-o-war; Takuya forced Kouji's arm away and pulled on the phone, and Kouji smacked and scratched Takuya and yanked the phone his way.  
"GIVE me the PHONE."  
"LET. GO!" Takuya let go. Kouji flew backwards and completely lost his balance, but while the counter caught him in his fall, no one caught the phone. It clattered to the floor and its batteries went flying across the room.  
"Now look what you've done!" Kouji made the mistake of reaching down to pick up the phone, and Takuya took the opportunity to rush into Kouji again, this time putting his arms around him-  
"STOP! STOP IT! DON'T TOUCH ME!"  
Lifting him up-  
"I'LL KILL YOU. I'd rather bite your DICK off than submit willingly to you!"  
-and hoisting him onto his shoulder as Kouji beat his fists on his back and kicked his legs frantically.  
"PUT ME DOWN. PUT ME DOWN!"  
"I told you I would force you if it came to that. I'm also the type of person who gets what he wants." He risked a grin, since Kouji couldn't see it, but Kouji, being Kouji, seemed to sense it.  
"Don't you get all cocky you son of a bitch! I'll be the toughest fighter you ever had!"

Takuya carried Kouji, on his shoulder and in his arms, all the way to his dinky little table, suffering vicious punches and kicks and even a few bites in the process. Kouji was shouting hoarsely in his ear the most savage, obscene words he could think of, absolutely certain that Takuya was going to carry him to a good rape location and then possibly murder him, perhaps eat him, if not permanently disfigure him and maybe even subject him to some kind of sick and twisted humiliation fetishes. Instead, all he did was plop the wailing little wild child into one little chair, and then calmly walk towards the fridge, presumably looking for something to eat.  
Kouji was looking over his shoulder at him suspiciously. "What are you doing?"  
"Trying to find food stuffs. Do you ever eat or do you survive by photosynthesis?" Takuya was, unsuccessfully, scouring for food, and completely ignoring Kouji. This annoyed him.  
"You're just leaving me here? You're just going to feed me BREAKFAST? Are you fucking kidding me? After ALL THAT, all you have on your mind is FOOD?"  
"Do you want me to do something different?" Kouji mumbled and grumbled and made various angry sound effects, but he didn't move from his seat. He determinedly stared straight ahead, away from Takuya, forgetting he was there. As a result, he didn't see Takuya's wide, Cheshire cat grin.

"Well, you have rice, and a rice cooker," Takuya noted as he searched. "That's a good start."  
"No shit? Rice goes in a rice cooker? Who'da thunk it?"  
"And you have...ew...this expired like...three weeks ago. Gotta throw that out."  
"No shit? I'd have just left something expired in there to expire more."  
"Clearly, which is why it was in there in the first place." Kouji grumbled unintelligibly in response. "And you have..." Takuya whistled. "A lot of alcohol related beverages."  
"No shit! Really? Wow!"  
"Yeah...gonna throw those out too..."  
"DON'T YOU FUCKING-"  
"Kidding, Kouji, Kidding." Takuya appeared from within the fridge holding three little frozen packages. He peered closer at them. "Is this...Natto?"  
"How the fuck would I know?"  
"Well, it's your fridge. I would assume that you know the food stuffs contained in your own fridge." Kouji just mumbled again. "I think this is Natto. I wonder if it's expired too...? Well, I'll just speed defrost it and speed-cook it...don't have forty-eight hours to make the crap."  
"I don't like Natto."  
"I don't care."  
"I can't STAND soybeans."  
"I can't stand your complaining."  
"I HATE you."  
"I'm not sure whether I love or hate you."

And Takuya went along his merry way, setting up the rice cooker and boiling water to heat the Natto through, all while blissfully ignoring Kouji's snippy comments, and even whistling a little.  
"What are you so happy for?" he asked more than once, suspiciously.  
"Oh, I just am."  
"You're all happy with yourself because you managed to get me to sleep with you, me, someone not entirely in their right mind. You're just happy you raped me and you're getting away with it because I can't fucking REMEMBER it, because for the second time in my entire life I had a fucking BLACKOUT, all thanks to you."  
"No, I'm just a happy person," was Takuya's response to all this.  
"No one is that fucking CHEERFUL for no reason," Kouji snarled back. "I've never met anyone so inexplicably cheerful in the morning."  
"Maybe the more angry and sour you are, the happier and more cheerful I am."  
"Sick, twisted fuck. So you get off knowing I'm miserable?"  
"Nah, I just think if there was nothing to counter-act your misery, the world would simply collapse into itself in resentment." Takuya was hunting through cabinets for something to serve the food on, and he spotted something of great interest. "Hey, Kouji..." He waited until he caught Kouji's eye, held up a little white mug with an image of a German shepherd smiling on it, and then grinned. "Cute cup." Kouji was vainly trying to squint in his direction to see it, and in the end, he just snorted, and crossed his arms.  
"Shut up."  
"Coffee? Tea?"  
"Koshu."  
"Coffee it is."  
"I hate coffee."  
"Clearly, which is why there's an abundance of instant coffee in the household." Kouji mumbled again.

Finally, eventually, breakfast was made. The rice cooker dinged, the Natto had thawed, and the kettle for the coffee water whistled. Seconds later, Takuya had dumped a big lump of rice into a bowl, spooned the Natto on top of it, and poured the boiling water into the little German shepherd mug, which instantly turned into coffee. Kouji very thoroughly tried to pretend that he was uninterested in any of it, but he breathed deeply, very audibly.  
"You could at least thank me for the food," Takuya called over his shoulder, and was only met with a scowl.  
"You haven't put it in front of me yet." Takuya finished plating his own meal, and delivered Kouji's first, gently placing both the bowl and the mug in front of him. Kouji eyed it for a moment, and then said very purposefully: "I do not thank you for this meal. It looks disgusting." Takuya just chuckled, and returned for his. As soon as his back was turned, Kouji immediately began complaining again.  
"I don't have anything to eat with. Couldn't you have put an egg in there? What; am I supposed to drink that shitty coffee black? And it's WAY too hot. What are you trying to do- scald me?"  
"What do you think your hands are for? You don't have any eggs. You don't even like coffee, so what does it matter? You can cool it with your icy glare."  
"You think you're some clever little shithead don't you?"  
"Clever, yes. Shithead, no."

Takuya did in fact return with two spoons and a little sugar cup, as well as his own bowl of rice and Natto, and a chipped red mug of coffee, all balanced carefully in his arms. The second Takuya put down the spoon, Kouji growled, "I don't want that one. You touched the mouthpart. Your germs are on it."  
"Then eat with your germy hands instead." And after he took a surprisingly large swallow of coffee that was supposedly scalding hot, he dug into his own breakfast, leaving Kouji sitting there. He stubbornly crossed his arms and slid in his chair, childishly denying himself food until he got what he wanted.  
"I refuse to eat this unless I get another spoon," he whined when Takuya continued to ignore him.  
Takuya licked his spoon cleaned, plucked the utensil Kouji was refusing to touch, and replaced it with his. "There you are- another spoon." Kouji glared at him menacingly.  
"My hatred for you BURNS WITH A MIGHTY PASSION."  
"Now you're a poet?" Kouji angrily pushed his chair away from the table, stomped his way across the kitchen, chose a new spoon from a little drawer, and then angrily marched back to his chair. He knocked his old one to the floor. Then he viciously stabbed into his Natto and rice, and steadily balanced a large spoonful all the way with his mouth. He chewed very slowly.  
"Good?"  
"It tastes like shit."  
"I'm glad."

Despite tasting like shit, Kouji took care to savor every bite, as if he hadn't really eaten for a while. For a few, sweet minutes, there was nothing but contentment and silence as the two men ate their late breakfast. At least, Takuya was very content; it felt kind of like the first normal moment he'd shared with Kouji ever since, well, ever. It was kind of nice to even see a look of relaxed ease on Kouji's face as he ate, like for the first time, he was actually accepting that Takuya was sticking around. The brunet had been starting to question his dedication in being around Kouji, but for the moment, it was just really comforting, and really nice. He was even taking a moment to praise himself and relish the fact that he WAS able to hold his own around someone like Kouji, who had a smart-ass thing to say every other sentence. Besides, he was sure he was already growing on him.  
In reality, Kouji was just itching for something new to latch onto and complain about until he eventually drove Takuya so insane that he left of his own free will, but he was running out of ideas. So he just started shooting off the first things that came to mind.

"You'd better pay me back for wasting this food." Takuya sighed; he'd been hoping that Kouji had worn himself out.  
"To waste food is to throw it out for no good reason or to use it for another purpose other than eating. We're eating this food and getting nourishment out of it. That is not a waste."  
"This food COULD have gone to better use, but you turned it into shit."  
"There's not much else you can do with rice and Natto but eat it, Kouji."  
"And I don't LIKE coffee. I don't know why the fuck that's so hard for you to understand."  
"You're right, I don't understand why there's so much coffee in a household where it's unwanted."  
Kouji growled and refused to dignify that with a response. He was staring into his bowl, and once Takuya arched his neck a bit, he realized it was because it was empty. Still, he continued staring into it, silently, as if hoping that perhaps glaring at it long enough would convince it to refill itself.  
"Want more?" Kouji just grumbled. "You could politely ask for more." Grumble, mumble, grumble. "It's very easy. You just say, 'Seconds, please.'" Mumble, grumble, mumble. Takuya let him alone, refusing to cater to him until he politely asked, and he was surprised to hear Kouji suddenly say, lowly, under his breath,  
"More, please."  
Obediently, he got up from his chair, took Kouji's bowl, and returned to the counter. He scooped another lump of rice into the bowl, and dumped the last of the Natto on top of it. When he returned it in front of Kouji, he silently dug back in, and did not thank him for it.

"So," Takuya began, and left it hanging. Kouji paused for a moment and listened, and then he just grunted, and returned to eating. "Tell me something about you."  
Kouji glared at him. "You probably know everything about me, sicko stalker."  
"I've known you for less than twenty-four hours, I promise." Kouji did not answer. He did pick up his mug and sniffed questionably at it, and then he put it down, not at all interested. It was plenty cool enough and the sugar was readily available; perhaps he was telling the truth and for some reason, he just did not like coffee.  
"Why the fuck should I say one word to you? This creepy stalker guy barges into my home and molests me and forces me to eat his shitty cooking, and I'm going to just open up and tell you my whole life story?"  
"Well, it'd be kind of nice to hear something about you, from you. Like..." He paused, just long enough for Kouji to stop eating and look at him again out of curiousity. "Why are you so miserable? Why do you drink?"  
"I like it."  
"You like getting shitfaced?"  
"I like indulging in the finer points of life, assface."  
"In other words, you like getting so wasted that you don't feel anything anymore."  
"Great, now you're a rapist and a psychiatrist. That means next you're going to try fucking my mind."  
"What don't you want to feel?"  
Kouji reluctantly took another sniff of his coffee, and risked a little sip of it. Instinctively, he stuck his tongue out and dropped it a little too hard back on the table.  
"You really don't like coffee?" Takuya asked, sort of surprised.  
"No shit! Did I forget to mention that, dickhead?"  
"You also don't like Natto." All the Natto in Kouji's bowl had been eaten, and he was just finishing the last few spoonfuls of rice.  
"Distended anus," he muttered sourly, and Takuya tilted his head.  
"What did you call me?"  
"I called you a fucking DISTENDED ANUS."  
"...What the hell...?"  
"It's my elaborate way of calling you an asshole, asshole."  
"My name's Takuya."  
"Good for you, shithead."

Takuya propped his elbows on the table and began staring at Kouji, even when he finished his meal, and began looking around expectantly for Takuya to clean it up.  
akuya continued staring at him. It was creeping Kouji out.  
"Why are you doing that?" he asked suspiciously.  
"Waiting for you to answer my question truthfully, since you're such an elaborate guy."  
"And you're just gonna leave these dirty dishes lying around until they get dry and crusty?"  
"Or you can clean up yourself." Kouji did not, and he crossed his arms over his chest. He engaged in the staring contest, only for him, he was trying to melt Takuya's face via hateful glare.  
"You made the mess- you clean it up."  
"I cooked. You can clean." Takuya blinked, and Kouji smirked triumphantly. It began again.  
"I didn't ask you to cook."  
"You didn't ask me to clean."  
"Do the dishes, retard."  
"Explain why you're such a hermit, hermit."  
"Hermit? That's your best insult?"  
"Well, I wouldn't say that insulting the mentally handicapped is any more tasteful." Takuya blinked again, and Kouji grinned even wider.  
"I won," he declared. "Two out of three. You do the dishes." Takuya stared at him strangely.  
"What...?"  
"You blinked twice; so I won the game. Loser cleans."  
"I didn't know we were playing." For a split second, Kouji looked a little sheepish, and he lost his cynical glare. It was so unexpected that it was kind of cute. All too quickly though, the moment passed, and he scowled again.  
"Fine, go again. Two out of three; loser does dishes."  
"Uh...okay." Takuya shrugged, and while doing so, he happened to close his eyes.  
"I win round one."  
"But we hadn't started yet!"  
"Round two."

This game achieved two of Kouji's goals. One of his goals was to shut Takuya up, and he did so, very effectively, when competing. His second goal was to continue to get Takuya to do things for him. It wasn't long before Takuya blinked a second time, and wordlessly, he stood up, and began to gather their bowls.  
"Loser also has to leave the house."  
"I can't leave if I'm doing dishes."  
"When you're done, you leave," he corrected impatiently.  
"Nah, I think I'll just stick around some more."  
"Give me one good reason I shouldn't just kick you out at this very minute."  
"You like me too much," Takuya teased, and he grinned back at him. Kouji did not find this remotely amusing.  
"What have you been smoking?"  
"You don't want to do dishes."  
"I'm capable of cleaning things."  
"You want someone to fume at." Kouji did not immediately correct this, so he continued. "You probably yell at yourself when no one else is around. You feel normal having someone to bag on."

Takuya did not expect to actually hit the right reason. At first, he took Kouji's silence as just his childish sulking, and he returned the silence in favor of the dishes. It was only a few minutes later when he actually looked up, turned to Kouji, and said, "You really do, don't you?"  
"I yell at the dog." Takuya gaped at him. He could think of nothing sadder than a man so lonely that he'd yell at himself in his own frustration.  
"You know the dog can't understand you. You're so angry and lonely that you'd scream at yourself?"  
"Where is my dog, anyway? He hasn't come down yet. I'll bet you did something to him, didn't you?"  
"Why would you really enclose yourself in such a tight little bubble that you'd literally have no one?"  
"If I find my fucking dog hurt in any way, I'm going to kill you. I swear to God, I will."  
"Don't you ever feel like...you'd be happier if there was someone else there? You can't like living alone. You must be going crazy with no one to talk to."  
"I talk to the dog. And you don't know anything."  
"So who do you live with?"  
"Go get my glasses." Takuya looked a little confused, and he raised a brow. Kouji was blatantly trying to change the subject?  
"What glasses?"  
"I haven't even been able to see you all this time, shithead. My contacts aren't in. Go get my glasses."  
"Why do you need them all of a sudden?" Kouji was already scowling hard at him, and his eyes narrowed even more. Whether he was just getting pissed off and he was about to go off into a rant, or he was just trying to squint so he could see him, Takuya was unsure.  
"Because, dumbass. I. Can't. See."  
"Whatever," Takuya sighed, and he shook and dried his hands. "Where are your glasses?"  
"In the coffee table, the third drawer."  
"...The...coffee table?"  
"Coffee. Table. A table upon which you put coffee."  
"In the living room?"  
"Do you suppose I have multiple coffee tables running about?" Kouji growled impatiently.  
"But...the table in the living room...was..."  
"Yeah? What'd you think it was? An air hockey table?"  
"But it...that's the table..."  
"Uh huh?"  
"Oh, nevermind."  
"No, what?"  
"Just nevermind."

Takuya actually sort of hoped that upon entering the room, his appearance would have magically repaired the table and all would be well.  
Unfortunately, all was not magically well in the living room; the table was still overturned, there was still glass all over the floor, as well as various magazines and knick-knacks, and the television was still face down, with a big crack coming out its side.  
Takuya warily tipped back the table, and found the third drawer. A dark blue glasses case had fallen all the way to the back, and he retrieved it. He then silently left the scene, although he knew that somehow, in some way, Kouji would end up blaming him for it.  
On his way back to the kitchen, he grabbed the photograph of Kouji and the mysterious man; if anything, he figured it'd encourage him to talk.

Kouji wordlessly swiped the navy case from Takuya as soon as he was within grabbing distance, and he did not thank him for retrieving it. He flipped his loose hair out of his face and snapped open the case, and all of a sudden, his face completely changed.  
Though the frames were dull silver and not at all blatant or noticeable, they contributed an air of intelligence and knowledge to the face of what Takuya had begun to think of as a lame drunk. He even sat a little straighter, sort of more dignified, like he wasn't a sulky drunk but a person of respectable standing. They even magnified those amazing eyes a little bit, and the brunet totally stopped dead; he hadn't been able to think of Kouji in a very positive light for hours, but now...

"What the fuck do you have in your hand?" Kouji demanded. He made a sudden grab for it, but Takuya pulled it back. Well...so much for that. "Just some more proof that you don't live alone." He held up the photograph in front of Kouji's face, and he practically snarled at him.  
"It's NONE of your business, dickwad! How dare you just go through my shit like you own it!"  
"It was just standing out on an end table. It certainly wasn't hidden. Who's the guy in the photograph?"  
"My bitch." Takuya snorted a little too hard, and Kouji scowled at him.  
"I doubt it."  
"Kouichi."  
"Yeah, Kouichi maybe twenty or thirty years from now."  
"God."  
"God takes souvenir photos? Come to Godland- Fun to die for?"  
Kouji made a quick grab at the photo, and Takuya wasn't quick enough to defend it; it switched hands in a split second. Kouji turned it face down and kept it hidden, and he hunched over, glaring darkly at Takuya.  
"Listen, you dirty no-good sonofabitch, I don't want you pawing through my home life. It's of absolutely none of your concern who I live with, or what became of them."  
Takuya sighed. "Are we really going to keep playing this game? It's getting old."  
"It's not a game, assface."  
"Your random name-calling insults are getting old, too. Can't you just give it a rest already? It's so immature." Kouji actually hung his head, ever so slightly, and he looked away. He was probably wishing that he hadn't asked for his glasses so that he couldn't see Takuya's face clearly. Takuya waited for a reason, and he was denied. Kouji actually looked a little...hurt.  
"Can't we just maturely TALK or something? You don't have to pour your heart out to me or anything; it'd just be nice for us to be able to converse with each other, without you swearing at me every couple of words."  
Kouji's face twisted into anger again, but still, he remained silent.

The dog finally came padding along into the kitchen to interrupt the argument, full of oblivious joy and bliss at having woken up to another awesome day in the life of dog. He somehow knew that his master wasn't in the mood for morning play, so instead he jumped all over Takuya, and he panted and he wagged his tail as he met this new friend all over again, and for a minute, Takuya forgot that Kouji was still being a pain in the ass.  
Even though he was purposely putting off those "leave me alone" vibes, Kouji was still hurt that his dog would choose greeting the brunet over him.  
"Do you have any food for this thing? He's going to try eating me soon."  
Kouji wordlessly pointed towards the pantry, and Takuya went to fetch the dog his breakfast as he danced around his feet and made happy pleading noises, as though anticipating priceless treasure as opposed to dog food.  
Takuya, for the first time all morning, was paying absolutely no attention to Kouji or his needs. It was a relief to get a reprieve from his poisonous attitude, and to simply be engulfed in the ordinary task of feeding the dog. He should've known that Kouji, in all his paranoid, selfish glory, would strike up a fit about it.

"Don't you dare feed him," he warned as Takuya opened the bag of kibble. The brunet stared at him for a minute, a little confused, and the dog sent up a pleading whine, as though afraid of being forgotten.  
"Why not?"  
"You'll poison him or something."  
"Are you still going on about that?"  
"You're obviously capable of poisoning an innocent dog if you're capable of rape." The dog barked shortly, not agreeing with his master, but asking, BEGGING, for the love of God; bring the kibble to him.  
"Whatever, smartass."  
"I'm going to start freaking out if you-" Takuya had no idea how much food the dog needed, so he just dumped the bag into the bowl until it was full, and it even overflowed a bit. This thrilled the dog beyond reasonable imagination, and he lunged at it.  
"There you are, good boy...what's his name, anyway?"  
"I hate your guts."  
"That's an awesome name, but it must be hard to fit on a collar ID."  
"I just...can't...STAND you."  
"You know, most people get paid for cooking, cleaning, and taking care of pets for other people."  
"I swear to God, I just wish you were dead."  
"Me, I do it out of the kindness and generosity of my heart."  
"And why did you give him that much fucking FOOD? He's going to become obese, you asshat."  
"At least he'll die fat and happy; I'm sure anything that lives with you for longer than a few years dies from the stress."

Takuya wasn't really prepared for Kouji losing control, like he'd been threatening. But those words just completely set him off; a second later, he heard a violent BANG and a wicked crash, followed by a sudden splash of liquid. Kouji had slammed his fist on the table and he'd knocked off his adorable German shepherd mug, shattering it to unfixable chunks and sending coffee flying everywhere. At the crash, the dog decided that it was a good time to flee from the line of fire, and he did so with an anxious yelp.  
In the instant it took Takuya to observe this, Kouji was coming right at him, so swiftly, so suddenly, that he might've simply teleported from one place to the other.  
The next second, Kouji was right in his face, glaring fiery daggers at him, and forcibly pulling him by his collar down to eye level, where he shuddered his rage and clenched his teeth in pure, unadulterated anger.  
"Don't you..." Kouji took a deep breath, trying to make words. "You..." His face was very red, and his eyes were burning with hate. Takuya was afraid. "Get out of here. NOW."  
"What did I say?"  
"JUST GO THE FUCK AWAY!" he flat-out shrieked, and Takuya was completely alarmed. What the hell had he said?  
"Not until you tell me-" Kouji punched him, as hard as he could. He just pulled down on his collar and his descending head made contact with a rapidly ascending fist. He took it directly in the center of his face, right in his nose, so hard he was positive it had just been broken. Takuya yelped and put his hands to his face, and he caught just enough to see a little blood come gushing out.  
"Get the FUCK out of my house. NOW." Takuya nodded dumbly, still shaking from the shock and fear. He was going to at least grab a napkin or something as he ran out, but Kouji turned him around and pushed him hard; he nearly fell face-first.  
"GET THE FUCK OUT!" Takuya scurried away as fast as he could, trying to avoid bumping into things with his eyes squinting in pain. He could barely let go of his nose to open the door, and when he did, a little more blood splattered onto the floor.  
Shit. Blood.  
PAIN.  
He hissed and grabbed his nose again, fighting off the urge to whimper in agony as he stepped outside the house of horrors and kicked the door behind him.  
Ow.  
This was definitely not within the plan. The plan did not involve broken noses.

Instead of leaving, Takuya simply sat down on the single step a safe foot or two beyond the door, and he held his smarting nose. He had absolutely nothing intelligent to pinch it with, so he just tilted his head back and held onto his nose with the neck of his shirt, still resisting the urge to cry.  
Well, it wasn't broken if he could keep touching it like this. He couldn't cry for a silly bloody nose; that would be pretty pathetic.  
Takuya waited for a minute, maybe two; maybe three. He wasn't really sure how long he was expecting to get away with sitting there. After all, Kouji had demanded that he get out of his house. He was technically out of the house, although not quite off his property.  
He wondered how long it would be before Kouji came storming out again, threatening a restraining order on him.  
Takuya let go of his nose and tried to wriggle his face. His nose smarted with pain, but it wasn't unbearable. The blood flood was minimal now, but now his shirt had blood all down the front.  
Okay. Now that he was under control and he wasn't bleeding, he could just go back in...  
"...Son of a BITCH." Kouji's voice was bellowing inside again, and at first Takuya figured he was just senselessly ranting about him, but then: "What the hell...what HAPPENED?"  
Oh shit.  
"What did you do to my living room you son of a bitch?!" He heard another crash inside the house; he decided it was a good idea to get the hell away as soon as possible.

Takuya scrambled off the little porch as soon as the door opened. He was expecting Kouji to tackle right into him from behind or to throw something heavy at him with minute precision, but he didn't even hear him moving. He risked a glance behind him, and saw Kouji, steaming mad, refusing to go past the threshold of his door. His glasses didn't make him look very pretty anymore; his eyes were just bloodshot, angry, and scary.  
Takuya continued running until he was off the property, and spared one last look at the man standing in the door. The moment his eyes reached him, he slammed it shut, so loud that Takuya could hear the crash ringing in his ears. He just felt his heart sink to the bottom of his stomach at that angry slam, like the judge's gavel had finally crashed down and he'd been pronounced guilty; like he had lost the trial for good and there was no hope for any more last-ditch appeals.  
He'd failed.  
Ow.

* * *


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I've decided that I should not feel pressured to add random sex to this story. I have enough stories out there that involve random sex; go read those if you want. If more sex is introduced in the later chapters, then there you are. Otherwise, I'm going to feel free to take as long as I want to bridge the plot. I think as long as I just write and don't feel pressured, this story will come easier. So I wouldn't look for sex for at least two to three more chapters; maybe not in the rest of the story if I feel it doesn't call for it. Like I said, I have plenty other porn stories out there; enjoy those instead.  
The More You Know: In pretty much every other country other than America, the kilometers system is used to determine speed, not miles per hour. On a Japanese highway, the typical maximum speed allowed is 100 kph. This translates to about 62 mph. In other words, 100 mph is about 160 kph, which is 60 kilometers over the speed limit of most Japanese highways.  
For some reason I'm under the impression that the majority of my readers are American, (although thanks to I see that I apparently have all sorts of readers from weird countries…where the hell is Brunei and UAE? If you're the reader looking at this story from one of those countries, please, send me a map or something so I can figure out where the hell you are.) so I'm sticking with miles rather than kilometers. So note that when I mention speed, I am speaking in terms of mph.

Enjoy the story.

The Bandana Effect

Although Kouji was no longer glaring daggers into his back and he was no longer in direct threat of being attacked by him, Takuya continued speed walking as fast as he could away from the house, down a long, straight side walk and passing dozens of beautiful, extravagant houses. He was definitely in a high-class part of town, and as a result, he had absolutely no idea where he was going. Even if he had no destination, he decided that it was best if he got there as quickly as he could.  
He was trying very hard not to think about anything that had just happened. He didn't want to analyze it or consider it or concoct any new plans; he just wanted to walk away from it, and not bother himself with it. It was over. He wanted to put it behind him.  
Of course, this meant that Takuya was running away from a problem. Kanbara Takuya did not run away from problems, and as a result, ten minutes into his clueless retreat, Takuya started thinking again.  
He slowed himself from practically a jog to a leisurely walk. There was no point in wasting energy if he had no idea where he was going, and it would make it easier to think if he was calm. Nevertheless, his heart continued pounding.

He decided to assess everything that had happened in a nutshell. He wasn't sure how this would help him, but one could try.  
Kouji was a very bitter drunk.  
He loved his dog and that was all he loved, for some reason.  
There was a mysterious man in the picture that he didn't yet know about.  
He was constantly angry and super violent.  
He was extremely touchy when it came to death. Very touchy.  
Takuya tenderly rubbed his poor nose, hissing in pain as it sent jolts of agony all throughout his face. Yeah, he wouldn't bring up death around Kouji again. Ever.  
All in all, he hadn't learned very much about this man in the time it had taken him to enter his house to run away from it. Kouji had been so defensive and so resistant that it was impossible to figure him out at all. And who was that other man, exactly, and did Kouji live alone, or not?

He instantly made a decision to turn right around and go back to Kouji, and then he promptly changed his mind and continued walking away from him. Even if he returned to Kouji, all he'd probably do is start yelling at him again.  
He figured this was usually the point where he's supposed to turn back and take a second helping of punishment all for the love of his life, but he just wasn't interested. He knew what was going to happen the second he knocked on that door and stepped foot in that house, and he truly wanted no part of it. He wanted to help Kouji, but he satisfied himself with an old stand-by for anyone who's ever dealt with an alcoholic and who needed to fend off the guilt: he couldn't help Kouji unless he wanted to help himself.  
It made him feel a little better, but nonetheless, it was like he was saying he was giving up on him. He didn't WANT to give up on Kouji; he still WANTED to help the guy. But how was he supposed to do that...?  
And again, still, especially now, he wondered why it mattered so much to him. He wondered why he was putting forth so much effort and taking such an emotional beating for this man he barely knew; a man he'd simply spotted across the room and had taken a chance on; a man he knew would make a horrible boyfriend no matter which way you sliced it. If he had any sense at all, he would just keep walking and walking, going as far away as he could. He'd just say that he made a bad decision in that restaurant and thank God he'd recognized it in time.  
He wanted nothing to do with a lousy drunk.  
At least, the logical part of his mind said that. Unfortunately, all the rest of him could think of was various methods of making Kouji forgive him for whatever wrong he'd done, and then force him to accept various methods of treatment for alcoholics who want to recover.  
It just wasn't fair to give up on Kouji; not yet. He still had time before it was too late; Takuya was sure of that. He knew that somehow, someway, he would be the one to turn his whole life around, whether Kouji liked it or not.  
Even as he thought this to himself, the frustratingly logical Takuya in his mind sneered: "Yeah right."

Takuya estimated that he'd been walking for about ten, maybe twelve minutes when he realized there was a car following behind him.  
'Just keep walking,' he told himself. He was sure it wouldn't be anything serious; after all, he doubted there was a great deal of crime in this area. He was still wandering around in the high-class part of town. Although he was under the impression he was still in Shibuya, so he couldn't be terribly far away from home...  
It didn't take long for the car to ease up next to him. Takuya saw that it was silver, but he didn't know the make or the model. It seemed foreign, expensive, and new.  
He started walking a little faster to try and overtake the car; in the split second he was ahead of it, he looked over his shoulder. He could see it was a Mercedes-Benz of some type, but he couldn't see the driver; the windows were heavily tinted.  
In no time, it was right next to him again.  
Though Takuya thought it was strange to personify the car, when the windows started easing down, they almost appeared to be moving sheepishly. When he craned his neck to see inside, he found, not really to his surprise, that it was Kouji behind the wheel.  
Kouji had already gotten dressed in boot-cut black jeans and a white button down shirt, the upper half of which was partially unbuttoned. His hair had been quickly slicked back and put in a fresh pony-tail, but nothing could be done about his bloodshot eyes. He wasn't sure if Kouji looked exceedingly calm or completely indifferent, but neither of these seemed like a good sign considering his persona. He also wasn't sure if he should be terrified by the thought of Kouji _driving_.  
"If you don't know where the hell you're going, it'll take you forever to get there." Takuya weakly nodded in agreement.  
"Well, don't just stand there," Kouji said crossly. "Get in the fucking car."  
"It's okay," Takuya assured him, inching away from the vehicle. "I'm sure I can find my way to a train station."  
"With blood all over your shirt? Buddy, in this neighborhood, they'd arrest you for something that blatantly obvious."  
"Really, it's okay…"  
"Someone's probably already called the police. You were walking along with a look on your face like you'd just committed murder. If you don't let me pick you up, someone else will; I assure you."  
Well, when he put it that way...

The silver car gracefully slid to a halt. Takuya gingerly opened the door and slid himself in, trying not to touch anything or leave his mark anywhere where Kouji might find it later. He didn't look at him all throughout the process. He was too nervous being near Kouji after all that; he had no idea how this man would react to him. Not ten minutes ago he'd been screaming his lungs out at him and had just been so ANGRY…how could he have forgiven him, just like that? It wasn't possible…  
The second he closed the door, the thing lurched forward. In seconds they were going fifty. Takuya didn't have the heart to ask him to slow down; for all he knew, Kouji would throw him out of the car going at this speed.  
He hastily put his seatbelt on, however, when he made it clear that though he drove a graceful car, Kouji did not drive gracefully, especially when it came to turns.  
"I'm sorry I punched you," Kouji got out between clenched teeth.  
"No problem. I understand; I know I was really testing you." Kouji was still in an urban neighborhood, and the car was already cruising at sixty. The speed limit was probably a third of that.  
"You...um, I don't need to be anywhere, so you don't have to hurry."  
"I drive fast."  
Yeah. He'd noticed.  
"But it'd make me a little more comfortable if you weren't going so fast," Takuya tried to say very carefully.  
"I don't care." Kouji purposely jammed his foot on the pedal; it was so sensitive that in a second it seemed the speed had jumped to a hundred miles an hour, and Takuya was positive he was about to have a heart attack. He was clutching the seat itself so hard that he was sure he'd tear through the leather.  
He hoped he was saying in his head, not aloud: 'Please don't let me die please don't let me die please don't let me die.'

Kouji slowed down to fifty again. He none too gently took another turn, and wound up on a busier main street, where he was forced to drop yet again to forty.  
Takuya's heart was still going nuts.  
"Dickhead?" It took a lot of effort for the brunet to squeak out:  
"My name's Takuya."  
"Good for you. Stop looking like that. I've never been in an accident."  
"That's...very, very, very hard for me to believe." Kouji smirked.  
"I'm a good driver. I'm just a fast one."  
"You're just a little, um..." The car was moving up to fifty again. He'd have been going faster if not for a much slower car dawdling along in front of them, and it was clearly irritating Kouji to have this obstacle in the way. "Reckless," was the word he eventually chose.  
"Yes. Think of it this way: I'm a 'Wreckless' driver." Kouji laughed and pulled a very fast (and possibly illegal) pass around the car in front. Takuya was reminded of the fact that he hadn't gotten a chance to use the bathroom this morning.  
"I think there's a difference between a good driver that drives fast and a fast driver that drives good." His voice didn't even sound like his anymore. He sounded twelve again.  
"Don't pull those things on me so early in the morning. Later I'd be interested, but now, no fucking way."  
"It's…gotta be past noon now…"  
"So, where to?" Kouji asked, sounding a little too interested.  
"And shouldn't you be at work? Kouichi said you worked-"  
"Oh, yeah. I do work today, don't I?" Kouji quietly chuckled and his toe got a little heavier on the gas. Takuya was gripping whatever he could get his hands on. "Where to?" he asked again.  
"…Just…make your way to Shibuya Station…I can find home from there."  
"Give me more directions when I get there."

Takuya had gotten his bearings a little as they flew down the street, and he was very aware that the drive from Kouji's house to his would have probably taken thirty to forty minutes in the best traffic. That, of course, is assuming that the driver is going at a normal speed.  
As he stuttered out more directions and Kouji freely stomped on the gas and made a few more hectic, death-defying turns, the car eventually (and smoothly) came to a stop in front of the apartment complex where he lived, probably no more than fifteen minutes later.  
Takuya was frozen in his seat. His life was slowly passing before his eyes.  
"We could sit here, or you can run in there and change clothes," Kouji prodded impatiently.  
"You really were trying to kill me, weren't you?"  
"You're so boring. Why doesn't anyone I know like driving fast? Get your ass out of my car and change clothes." He paused, and then said a little reluctantly: "I decided I wanted to show you something."  
"Is it going to shorten my life by another twenty years?"  
"Hey, they're the best years to lose, right? They're the ones at the end."  
Takuya undid his seatbelt and flung open the door, not taking very much care with this very expensive very new foreign car anymore.  
Hell; it probably went through a lot more with Kouji behind the wheel.  
His bladder was making it very, very obvious that it was very, very unhappy.  
Kouji was laughing at him as he stumbled all the way towards the building.

Takuya thought of all sorts of reasons he couldn't join Kouji in whatever further gallivanting around the city he planned on doing in that car, but in the end, he couldn't resist returning to him, much to his logical half's annoyance. It was because he was happy that Kouji was finally taking to him after all he'd went through to be around him, (he had put in an unreasonable amount of effort and time already; why not try to get that back?) and partly because he was now curious as to what on earth would Kouji have to show him, especially after punching him in the nose and screaming bloody murder at him. He was only hoping that curiousity wouldn't end up killing the cat this time, and he didn't think of it as figuratively speaking.  
It took him ten minutes to urinate, quickly shower, brush his teeth, and just for good measure, urinate again, just in case. It took almost no time at all to change into a pair of grey cargo pants and a white t-shirt, and also a red hoodie, sporting the words "Tokai University."  
Come to think of it, he wondered if Kouji still attended school. This somehow led to wondering about Kouji's job that he may not have for much longer. This thought lead to him wondering how he could live in such extravagant comfort as though he had piles of money, even though he had no means of getting it.  
He didn't have a lot of time to think hard on any of it; Kouji blew the horn again, as he had been doing once every thirty seconds ever since he entered his apartment.

"It's about time," Kouji growled as soon as Takuya opened the door.  
"I didn't take that long," he muttered as he slammed the door closed and immediately snapped his seatbelt in place.  
Kouji wasn't even paying attention; he had moved on to drinking something out of a tall steel coffee thermos that Takuya hadn't noticed before. Considering that Kouji didn't drink coffee and taking into account that he was downing it like air, Takuya had a pretty good guess as to what was actually in the thermos.  
"You know, I was thinking…maybe I should drive."  
"You think I would let _anyone_ else _ever_ drive my _Mercedes_? Buddy, if you're willing to buy me a new one if you crash it, be my guest."  
Takuya did not volunteer, and he did not mention that Kouji himself was probably ten times more likely to crash the car. He just started mentally reciting a prayer that he hadn't heard since he was eight years old, more or less pleading with whatever deity could or would listen to spare his life.  
Kouji finished gulping his non-coffee beverage and replaced the thermos in the holder. He revved up the engine.  
"You know, I could probably pay for this if you let me pay it in installments-"  
The Mercedes flew like a bullet from a dead-stop to fifty.  
"-and it wouldn't do any more harm to just stop and let me drive-"  
Kouji very narrowly missed hitting an entire crowd of eight or nine people walking during the "Cross" sign, and when it came to flying by an entire row of parallel parked cars, not an inch could have been spared between them. He pulled onto an emptier road and made his way towards the highway.  
"-and I'm sure in the end we'd still get there around the same time-"  
He shook his thermos to determine once and for all that it was still empty, because it was perfectly reasonable to assume that some sort of booze fairy might have paid it a visit and refilled it with a drop or two. He turned on the radio and eased up to seventy, and at the last second swerved to pass a car in front of him before he rammed right into it.  
"And dear God, now I need a drink."  
Kouji finally laughed again.

Once he paid the toll and made his way to Expressway Route 20, Kouji pushed the Mercedes up to a hundred again, but in order to spare Takuya massive cardiac arrest, that's all he kept it at. He then decided that it was time to embark on normal and completely civil conversation while he swerved in between cars and barreled down the highway at a speed that was sure to get them pulled over in no time.  
"So," Kouji prompted, and Takuya forced his stiff neck to look away from the road at the man beside him. "Why are you still sticking around, exactly? Out of curiousity. If you were smart, you would have said 'Fuck you' the moment I pulled up to you in this car."  
"Well, obviously I have a death wish. Apparently I am destined to die because of you."  
Abruptly the Mercedes shot to one-fifty, and Takuya was extremely happy that he had stopped to pee a second time before getting back in the car.  
Kouji eased off the gas. His knuckles were pure white.  
Takuya realized what he'd just said.  
"Don't apologize," Kouji said tersely when he started sputtering out an apology. "It's probably true, you know. You're probably going to die."  
"Well, you don't have to be the one to make it true. If I'm going to die of a heart attack I'd rather it be in thirty or forty years."  
"Buddy, if you're going to die, you're going to die, and nothing I or anyone else can do is going to stop it. And you're right: because you're messing around with me, you're going to die."  
Takuya could have instigated all sorts of interesting points of conversation with this tidbit of information, but he instead decided to pursue one that would hopefully not cause Kouji to pay even less attention to the road this silver bullet deathtrap was on. "One question: am I suddenly your buddy now?"  
"You don't want to be?" Kouji sounded surprised, and he actually looked away from the road for a few seconds. Takuya's life flashed before his eyes again.  
"No no no it's fine! IT'S FINE!" Kouji shrugged and looked back to the road. He smoothly changed lanes to avoid rear-ending another car and continued spiraling down the highway, oblivious to multiple car horns warning him of his very unsafe speed.  
Unfortunately for Kouji, his speed-demon luck was about to run out.

Takuya was pretty much in another world, trying desperately not to think about the fact that he was in a car going easily over a hundred with a drunk behind the wheel when he heard someone say angrily: "Damn it!" The car suddenly started slowing. At first it resumed an actually NORMAL speed of sixty-two, but at another whoop-whoop noise coming from behind, it began to slow even further. The car was pulling to the side of the road.  
Takuya then realized that in the rear view mirror, he could see flashing lights.  
A police car. Thank God.  
Kouji grabbed his empty thermos and thrust it at his passenger. "Put this in the glove box. Now." Takuya wordlessly obeyed. Kouji wiped his mouth, as though hoping that perhaps this simple action would reduce his blood alcohol level to a reasonable range.  
"You say nothing. Just sit there and smile."  
"That's not going to help anything, Kouji, and you know that."  
"Seriously, just shut up. You act like I've never dealt with this before and I'm finally about to get my ass handed to me."  
Great. Kouji had a record. This was going to end well.

Takuya just propped his elbow on the edge of the door and hid his face, trying desperately to look inconspicuous. The second the car stopped, Kouji stormed out of it, much to the dismay of the officer behind him.  
Yeah. This was going to end great.  
Takuya heard them raising their voices at each other for about ten seconds, but then the other man laughed, and Kouji laughed with him. Incredulously he risked a look towards them; the officer was making motions with his hands, almost angrily, but he still had a smile on his face. Kouji was messing around with something in his hands, poking through it, and he pulled out a little wad of cash.  
The cop took a quick look inside the car to determine that there was nothing incriminating inside. Like he was told, Takuya weakly smiled when he met the man's eyes. He smiled back.  
"Well, I don't see any evidence in there to support that you've been drinking, so I guess I have nothing to hold you on."  
"Oh, darn. Maybe you'll find some next time."  
"You got off lucky this time, kid."  
Money exchanged hands. It was indiscreetly shoved into a pocket.  
"Just remember to drive safely or next time you'll be in big trouble."  
"Yes sir."  
"And seriously man," the cop complained, his voice becoming familiar and whiny, "do you HAVE to fly down this way? That guy will still be there when you get there, whether you get there ten minutes from now or ten hours from now. Must you speed down MY route?"  
"I drive fast."  
Takuya felt like bashing his head on the dashboard, and he almost did.  
He watched, in awe, as the officer got right back into his car and turned off the flashing lights. He went on his way, without another word.  
"What…the hell…just happened?" he said when Kouji opened the door.  
"That guy? Oh, I went to high school with him. He was two years ahead of me. He's what you call a 'crooked cop'- I pay him the speeding and the DUI fine without him writing up an official report, so he pockets the cash himself and I don't get anything marked on my impeccable driving record."  
"And you just so happened to be lucky enough to bump into him of all people? What if next time you run into a different one?"  
"I know three other men perfectly willing to take the same deal, give or take a little, and I only speed on their routes. It's the craziest thing-" Here, Kouji almost sounded bewildered. "- a lot of my old high school friends decided to go into law enforcement. How on Earth could I be so lucky?" Takuya did not return Kouji's clever grin. "It's not terribly difficult to avoid getting arrested if you know people and have money at your disposal."  
And the silver bullet was off again, easily cruising at one-ten in a few short seconds.  
Takuya made a little noise not unlike a dying animal.

Kouji smoothly turned off the Expressway and paid the final toll not much later. Takuya estimated they'd been going for about ten minutes, which meant they weren't all that far out of the way. Now Kouji drove at an almost normal speed, and his face became utterly serious, almost angry.  
"Don't know anyone on this road, I guess?"  
"Just making it last longer before we get there." Takuya again wondered what on Earth would make Kouji suddenly swallow his hatred of him and then practically drive them to death just to get him to see this thing. He looked at every building and every sign they passed, trying to get some idea of what was going on. As the minutes passed, however, he realized that he'd just have to trust Kouji. He was sure that once this thing became clear, he'd finally understand this enigma of a man, and he was more than willing to wait to get that.  
Takuya was definitely, most surely not expecting for Kouji to head straight towards a hospital.

Takuya figured he'd drive past it when it came up, but he was actually turning into it. He moseyed along in the parking lots for a few minutes, zipping in and out of the various sections before finally parking the Mercedes in a visitor zone. When he pulled his hands away from the steering wheel, he breathed deeply, trying to calm himself down.  
"Why did we stop here…?"  
"Just shut up and follow me." Kouji threw the door open and thrust himself outside; Takuya quickly followed. He was already speed walking towards the entrance, and the brunet almost had to jog to keep up with him.  
"Are you going to be okay?"  
"Just shut up." Kouji looked very pale and very nervous. His hand was shaking a little as he pulled open the door.  
"Check in, please," a woman called the second the door was open.  
"Yeah, yeah," Kouji muttered. He signed his name and Takuya's and flashed his driver's license. "Private hospital," he called over his shoulder when he realized how confused his newfound buddy was. "Nobody just walks in here and runs around wherever they want."  
"You know where you're going, right?" the young woman behind the desk said pleasantly.  
"I should, by now." Kouji was sulking off again towards an elevator, almost not even paying attention anymore as to whether or not his companion was following him. Takuya caught him breathing deeply again.  
"Hey, Kouji…" Takuya started when they were in the elevator, alone.  
"What?" he replied crossly.  
"You don't have to be worried, okay? I'm not going to be freaked out or anything about whatever you're going to show me. Seriously; I'm more afraid of being in a car with you than I am of a sick person."  
You'll be plenty afraid of me once you meet _this_ sick person."  
Kouji stepped confidently off the elevator on the fourth floor, and Takuya obediently followed behind him. He found himself looking around uneasily at the sterile white walls, as if perhaps the boogeyman were lurking within them. He couldn't think of many other reasons why Kouji would be so nervous other than a monster dwelling in these halls. Sick people were just not very nerve-wracking, as far as he knew.

Kouji came to a stop near the end of a long hall-way, in front of Room 420. He was obviously familiar, but he still hesitated when he put his hand on the door.  
"Go on already," Takuya encouraged, and Kouji expelled a heavy breath.  
"Listen," he began, and he took his hand away from the door. "Once we get in there, I'm going to tell you stuff. You wanted to know everything about me, right? Well, you're going to get an earful, and it's going to be in a rather unpleasant atmosphere. I just want you to understand what's going on. After this, I'll give you a chance to leave, alright?" Takuya was confused again.  
"Give me a chance to leave? What's that supposed to mean?"  
"I…I got it." Kouji looked away. "I got what you were saying. I understand that you're not some freak rapist and that you just wanted to pursue a…a normal relationship."  
"Thank God. You could have told me that before you ran me out of your house with blood leaking out of my face and using up every insulting word in the dictionary." Kouji chuckled.  
"And I guess you amuse me. It's nice to have someone who can still fire off a remark and counter right back at me, no matter how mean I am."  
"'Abusive' is probably a more suitable term."  
"But this isn't just going to be the end, alright? I'm giving you a chance to get out once you hear the whole story. That's it. If you don't take it, then you're subjecting yourself to whatever happens after that. I just…I want you to know it's your fault. Not mine." If Takuya were talking with any other person, he might've thought that Kouji was joking. But this was Kouji he was talking to, who was a little drunk, but who was dead serious. The words hung like an ominous cloud overhead.  
"Dude, I don't care if you've got a three-headed six-legged reptilian alien baby with a yeast infection in there. I'm sorry, but as long as you're not punching my skull in, you're stuck with me."  
In a way Takuya sort of felt like he was sealing his fate, but what the hell; he'd already survived the Expressway Route 20 with this guy. Anything after this was a piece of cake.  
"You have a chance," Kouji told him again. "After that, you're the one stuck with me."

Kouji finally opened the door. Inside, the first thing to hit him was a radio turned on extra low, covering up several obnoxious beeping noises, and it occurred to him that it was unnecessarily dark in the room. Kouji quickly made his way across the room in the dark and spread apart the curtains, allowing a little light to seep through.  
Takuya was a little hesitant to come inside, but he slowly took a step in, and then another. When Kouji nodded, he closed the door behind him.  
"Takuya," Kouji said, using his name seriously for the first time he could even remember, "this is my dad. His name is Minamoto Kousei." He motioned down towards a bed, and Takuya followed the gesture. The man in the bed almost looked like he was sleeping, and he was hooked up to multiple machines, the various beepings of which were almost tuned out by the radio. "He's been in a coma for three years. Very bad traffic accident," Kouji informed him. "He taught me how to drive." He weakly grinned; Takuya did not return it. His eyes couldn't leave the man in the bed; he couldn't stop absorbing this human being that Kouji had gone through so much trouble to show him.  
He looked so small and pitiful, and he had no doubt that he'd once been a man who'd stood tall and proud, just like his son. His body had the withered appearance of an adult who lost a few dozen pounds in an extremely unnatural way, and his skin looked unnaturally saggy and wrinkly and gray; the appearance of a sick person who hasn't seen sunlight in forever; a young person turned old. He had a permanent look of unease on his face and a thick scar running from his left cheek, over his eye and to his forehead, no doubt continuing over his skull, but was covered by regrown hair.  
"What happened?" Takuya whispered.  
"I was in the car with him, naturally. There was a dog in the road and I told him to avoid it, though ordinarily he'd have probably taken his chances and if he ran it over, oh well. He did avoid it though, and in the process had a head-on collision with another car while he was going a little tiny bit fast in the wrong lane. Long story short, we took a couple of flips, daddy's head got nailed, I walked away perfectly unharmed except for a boo-boo on my head, which wasn't serious at all. He's supposedly a living vegetable now, never to recover, which means he's just as good as dead. Anyone who knows says I'm wasting money keeping him alive and it'd be smarter to just pull the plug."  
"And…?"  
"Oh, you know. He's not dead yet. You never know. I guess by keeping him alive I'm sating my own guilt; if I were to purposely let him die, well, that'd be twice as worse as usual. Besides, people come out of comas all the time, right? I guess I'm hoping for a miracle."  
"But Kouji…"  
"Uh huh?"  
"Even if he came out of the coma, won't he still have severe brain damage?"  
"He'd still be alive."

Kouji pulled a chair from a bedside desk, and he motioned for Takuya to do the same. He did a little digging in a cabinet in this desk, and he revealed a little complimentary bottle of Asahi beer, which was gone in an instant. He immediately began looking for more.  
"But how can you even do that? I mean, everything he owns…"  
"Power of attorney," he shot off immediately. "Basically, I'm the executer of his will and also hold power of attorney, which means that as long as he's incapacitated, I determine whether or not this hospital keeps him alive, and I control his assets, meaning the house, the cash, blah blah…"  
"I can't imagine how he could've trusted you with something so huge."  
"We don't have anyone else."  
There was silence for a few seconds. Kouji was staring sadly at his father's face, looking almost forlorn.  
"So that's it?" Takuya asked as he also sat down, now trying hard to avoid the corpse-like body in the bed before him. "That's your big secret?"  
"One of my many secrets," Kouji corrected. He found a second complimentary bottle, this one Sapporo beer. He downed that too. Fruitless searching provided no further results.  
"I wonder why Kouichi didn't tell me…?" he muttered.  
"I'll give Kouichi that much credit; he's more gossipy than an old lady, but he knows when to shut-the-hell-up about important matters."  
"Why is this…is this it? Is this why you're drinking yourself stupid?"  
"I resent that."  
"Seriously, is this what you're killing yourself over? It wasn't your fault; I don't see what you're taking it so hard. Have you gotten therapy for it…?"  
"Yay, therapy. Super happy fun-time psychiatrists will make everything all better. I assure you, therapy in a bottle is a lot cheaper, a lot faster, and a lot more effective than all other therapy."  
"Come on, Kouji," Takuya pleaded quietly, trying not to rouse the dead. "Tell me. What the hell _happened_? What is the big mystery here?"  
Kouji wiped his mouth off on his sleeve. He looked ready to go find something else to drink, but he stayed put. "There's no real big mystery; it's pretty simple. I'm just bad luck. I kill everyone I come in contact with."

Kouji's first clue apparently came at the age of ten, when he supposedly caused the death of a peer. Kouji had recently become acquainted with the boy and they were starting on the road to friendship, which for Kouji was extremely hard to come by. They even walked home from school together, though the other boy took a longer route than was necessary to get home to walk with Kouji. One day, however, Kouji had to stay after school for tutoring. His friend mentioned that he planned to take a different, busier street route home that day, and though Kouji mentioned that it probably wasn't safe, he didn't try to persuade him from going. He was hit by a car en route. He died.

He and Kouichi hadn't ever been truly separated; just distanced. They sometimes saw each other, though they normally tried to avoid the other parent. Kouji was fourteen when he finally got back in contact with his real mother, Tomoko, and they entered each other's lives. Kouji frequently stayed with his mother and brother. Shortly thereafter, she was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer (though she had never smoked a cigarette in her life) and was given eight months to live. She died in five.

The mysterious stepmother finally came up; Kouji started drinking when he was fourteen-fifteen-sixteen, (he couldn't quite remember which one it was, so he gave the ages all as one) and he barely remembered the many incidents that lead up to the final one. Satomi apparently decided that Kouji needed a mother figure above all after his mother's death and she tried to become especially close to him, which worked alright for a while, until Kouji got angry and drunk. Due to stress in the marriage and constant abuse brought on from a drunk step-son, she eventually hung herself. Kouji believes he not only witnessed the act but possibly encouraged it, and then drank himself into a blackout to forget the event, but obviously, he couldn't remember. It was the first and only blackout he'd ever had before he met Takuya, he reminded him bitterly.

He had a girlfriend briefly, so briefly that Kouichi had never even known about her, which was most certainly a feat. He only dated her for about an hour before she pissed him off and he left. Not long after he got in the door, (he had stopped at a bar and then a liquor store to buy a few bottles of his favorite Koshu) he turned on the news, and found that she had been found dead in an alleyway, presumably raped, robbed, and then murdered, not long after he'd left her to fend for herself in a big city.

Kouichi had cheated death on his own three or four times, (which was the most he would describe to Takuya as to these near-death experiences for his brother) and Kouji fully expected him to drop dead any moment now; he did not think a lightning strike would be too far out of the ordinary at this point. The fact that his brother was even still alive amazed him. He often wished his brother would just hurry up and die already, he joked, and Takuya did not laugh.

Kouji also joked that it was impossible for him to keep any animal as a pet but a dog; fish died within hours of being put in a tank, cats ran away and were run over, and hamsters promptly got wet tail and had to be killed to spare suffering. The only animal that had ever survived longer than a month with him were dogs, the first of which, also a German Shepherd, was put down two years ago due to, damn it all, cancer. His most recent dog had thankfully lasted a little over a year so far.

And then there was his father, who was, in Kouji's own words, as good as dead.

Takuya really could've said a lot to all this. For example, he could have said that all of those things were freak accidents or coincidences. It was life. Just because it all happened during Kouji's lifetime didn't mean that Kouji himself was cursed to kill everyone he came in contact with and loved.

Perhaps he could've mentioned that while Kouji may have played some part in the grand scheme of things during these deaths, he was not the direct cause of any of them. He hadn't driven the car that killed his friend or wielded the knife that stabbed his girlfriend or noosed the rope that took his stepmother's life. And if his father hadn't been such a speed demon, (like father like son) the accident might not have been so bad. All of those things were ultimately out of his control, and there was no reason to feel responsible for them.

Maybe he could've said something humorous about the pet killer thing; after all, he'd never been very successful keeping fish alive for very long either, and his only attempt at keeping a rodent (a gerbil, actually) had failed horribly when it was let loose in the house and fried itself on an electric cord.

If nothing else, he could have said something soothing and encouraging about how he didn't believe any of it and he was still perfectly willing to not only be around him, but pursue that normal relationship with him, like he'd been wanting all along.

Takuya ended up not saying any of that, and he actually, inexplicably, ended up being a little afraid of the man sitting across the bed from him, as he sat there in silence.

What had he gotten himself into, exactly?

"So that's it," Kouji said, though he'd completed weaving this depressing tale quite a while ago. Late afternoon was already creeping in; he and Takuya had been sitting around the body for an hour or two, and he'd been right: it didn't provide much atmosphere. "So, what do you say, buddy? Are you still willing to be around someone like me? Or are you going to take a hint and get the fuck away before it's too late?"  
"Actually calling me by name would be a step in the right direction." Kouji rolled his eyes.  
"Takuya," he said very emphatically. "Do you want to have a cursed boyfriend or are you all good the way you are?"  
Takuya was carefully staring at Kousei's face. He rubbed his eyes and then resumed staring again, as though perhaps his perception would have been modified by the action. The other stories hit him, but none of them seemed truly real; it was this man who was a testament to Kouji's curse, forever living death. Takuya almost felt like saying it would be kinder to let him die.  
"Hello? If you're going to say to go the fuck off, then say it please; there's no point in sitting here waiting for it."  
"That's not it. I already…" Takuya felt like biting his tongue or changing course before he said anything drastically stupid, but the words were out of his mouth before he could stop and think any harder about them: "…told you that I was sticking around, if you want me to."

Kouji visibly relaxed; he even smiled. Takuya almost felt relieved now that the decision making problem was out of the way. After all, this nonsense about a little "Kouji Curse" was just in his head. It was just a few unfortunate happenings reeled together to seem more ominous than they were. "…Yeah, I think I kind of do," Kouji finally said in response.  
"Glad that that's out of the way. Now, I have some questions."  
"Oh?"  
"First: are you going to continue to use my face as a punching bag?"  
"Probably." Takuya looked shocked.  
"…Probably NOT, right?"  
"Oh. Well, I can always hit the dog."  
"Uh, why not just buy an _actual_ punching bag and avoid hitting us altogether?"  
"You know, that would just make too much sense." Kouji tried to infect the brunet with a smile, and it clearly wasn't working. "Okay, so I get angry. Sue me. I won't be bagging on you or anything."  
Takuya actually breathed a sigh of relief. "I appreciate it."  
"So what's the other thing?" Kouji asked.  
"Rehab."  
"No."  
"Yes."  
"No."  
"That's not up for debate."  
"You're right; it's not."  
Both of them sighed, uncannily simultaneously.  
"I know it's been a long time since you were in a normal relationship," Takuya said carefully, "but you're supposed to make compromises."  
"I wonder why you're under the impression that you're so normal," Kouji mused in response. "Who's to say that you're normal and I'm not? That's your subjective opinion."  
Takuya did not dignify that with a response; he was afraid of what might come out of his mouth if left to his own devices.  
Instead, he looked back down at Kousei, and Kouji followed his eyes, scowling.  
"We should probably leave. I'm sure it's awkward just having a body lying between us."  
"Well, he's not dead yet."

Kouji did get up from his chair, and Takuya soon followed. Kouji closed the curtains and pushed in the chair, and the brunet made his way to the door, putting a hand on it, hoping to leave as soon as possible.  
He was sure he'd be more comfortable about the whole gig when Kousei was out of sight.  
"Just remember, Takuya," Kouji said again, almost like a last warning. "Life with me is a little hard."  
Takuya did not quite respond, but he did hum in agreement, and opened the door for what was apparently his new boyfriend, though he still wasn't entirely sure how it had come about.  
"And I don't let go of things easily. You can't just walk out when you've had enough of me."  
"Gee, thanks for having such a high opinion of me." Kouji scowled.  
"Can't you take anything seriously?"  
"Can't you?"  
Walking side by side they made their way out of the hospital, slowly, a little awkwardly. Takuya wasn't sure if he was allowed to touch Kouji while they walked, but he hesitantly put his arm around his waist, drawing him just a little closer.  
Kouji didn't hit him or push him off, but he didn't really fall into it either. He was stiff and neutral about it.  
"Don't be so uptight," he assured him. "I'm not some promiscuous guy looking for a constant source of sex. And can you really be suspicious of me after all that?"  
"Sure I can. I don't trust anyone unconditionally."  
"Then let's make some conditions. I like you if you like me, I leave if you hit me, and you have permission to hit me if I do something stupid."  
"Those are stupid conditions. Can I hit you now?"  
"Your conditions?"  
"You do not try to pull anything clever to get me to stop drinking or to prevent me from indulging myself. You do not show me a great deal of affection in public. I'm not a prude or anything, but I'm not interested in the stares. Also, no more overfeeding my dog." Takuya was a little surprised.  
"That bothered you that much?"  
"The fatter the animal is the more likely its life will be shortened. Dogs have short enough lives without you adding on obesity and heart disease."  
"I understand."  
"Also, you don't blame me if you abruptly die for no apparent reason."  
"Well, I'll be dead then, so I guess I won't be able to blame you."  
"Just promise, okay?"  
"Sure, I promise. Just promise you won't blame yourself either."

Kouji released himself from Takuya's grip and signed out. His newfound love interest held open the next door for him, and he finally concluded:  
"And don't treat me like I'm your bitch. I'm a man, thanks. I don't want you doing all those things that guys think they have to do to make a girl happy."  
"God forbid I try to do anything that would make you happy."  
Kouji continued on, but Takuya was frozen in place, holding out his arm. Kouji continued walking, then stopped, then continued, stopped, looked annoyed, and continued again, as if he would just leave him there, and finally turned around, glare in full force.  
"What's wrong with you?"  
"My last condition: I drive."  
"Hell no, not unless you're buying me a new Mercedes if you crash it."  
"I will. I'll sell my soul to Satan when you kill me and make him buy you a brand spanking new Mercedes-Benz. I will sell my body on the street and will push drugs to children and will become an auction sniper for internet bidding sites and will have a yard sale every Saturday to pay back what is necessary for your brand-spanking new Mercedes-Benz. But I am driving the current one until I have to do all that, at least whenever I'm driving somewhere with you and you are incapacitated. Think of it as my own little power of attorney."

Kouji's glare steadily softened throughout all this until it was a grin. "You really do amuse me."  
"A smile does look good on you," he admitted. Kouji sighed and dug his keys out of his pocket, and suddenly threw them at his companion. Takuya caught them and finally broke into a grin, regarding the keys like an amazing Christmas gift come early.  
"And I just wanted to drive around in a freakin' Mercedes. That is so. Cool."  
"Enjoy it while you can, I guess. There's not much else glamorous about a life with me."


End file.
